Friday, July 4, 2014

June 13th, 2011

June 13th, 2011
11:06am

Hey Chels,
Meh.  I am not mad at you.  I was just really fucking tired and all the back and forth stuff was driving me nuts.  It was getting to the point where I really didn't know what you wanted me to say.  When I made one point, you made another one.  But the truth is that at least your other friends have met this guy.  I haven't because he wasn't talking to you for a while.  But like, I am gonna be supportive of you no matter what you choose.  If you decide you want to date this guy, great.  If you want to be alone, that is fine too.  Letting anybody into your heart, friendship wise or anything, runs the risk of someone getting hurt.  So my whole point was that even if you only want friendship with this guy, at least take a chance at getting to know him first.  You have only known him for 3 weeks, but how much of that was actually spent getting to know each other?  So, I dunno what you want to do.  Get to know him or don't.  Date him or don't.  But if I choose to sit there and listen to you, which I always will, don't say that it's not helping.  Because you know I'm not gonna say what you want to hear.  I'm gonna say whatever I feel at the time.  But talking to me probably isn't going to help because it's not me you should be talking to.  It's Robert.
If you're mad about last night -- I was really fucking tired.  I was having trouble keeping my eyes open.  So when you said you were leaving I just said that and then passed the fuck out.  I was also really aggravated because you were so conflicted about Robert and no matter what I said it wasn't right.  Honestly, I was thinking about just passing out without even saying anything, that's how tired I was.
I know it sounds like a lame excuse and I'm not one to give those at all, but I wasn't being bitchy or whatever.  Tired and aggravated, yes.  But bitchy?  Maybe unintentionally.
I hope that things work out for you regarding Robert.  Either way you know I will be there for you.  But I'm not gonna say what you want to hear, so if you don't want my opinion, don't say anything.  You know me and how I think -- hell you probably know how I would handle a situation without even discussing it with me.  So you know everything I say is because I love you and want to support whatever decision you make.
Meh.  So much more to write but I'm still not fully awake yet.  I love you and hopefully this will blow over soon.  I will not let another guy come in between us!  Lol.  I will just chalk up last night to us both being really tired.  And I'm not gonna apologize and I don't want you to either because I don't feel like there was anything to apologize for.

Love,
Me

11:34am

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