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Hey. I wish I was there or you were here so I could give you a big hug. You know, not for nothin’ but… Well I’m glad you weren’t part of this thing Barry is in trouble for… I think in a way, you’ve been protected.
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2/7/12
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Well, it’s close to 6am and I’m awake because I was in bed with Brian and woke up with pee all over. I don’t know if it was me, or him But I’m 90% sure it wasn’t me. Either way, ew. In a way it’s good because I was able to wake up and talk to you about everything going on.
I didn’t even know Barry, but I am so sad over this whole thing. First of all, wow. Selling heroin. I don’t know. But now that you told me you found needles and what George and Korey told you… that’s just fucking scary.
I blamed Chris but maybe that’s wrong. His cousin is a lot of things, Bo Bita, but ultimately, Barry is his own person. he decided what he will and won’t do. In the last 10 years of your life, you have dated 3 alcoholics (Mike, Brian, and Ryan) and a heroin addict. Now you see why I don’t trust any men? You haven’t even picked them up from bars the way I find mine. Sometimes I wonder if all I can hope for is someone who I may not be in love with, but at least he won’t drink too much or do drugs. That seems to be all that’s left out there. Anyway, I hate seeing you go through all this. It’s like, I’m watching all my favorite people suffer and I can’t do shit. Except watch and pray. I hate it. It makes me so angry. Ugh my butt is numb, my sheets are wet and I’m tired. I think I need to wake Brian up and kick him out. I love you. More later.
<3,
me
~later that day~
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Hey. How are you today? I’m okay but I’m with Erica. She wanted me to go with her for her MRI. My dad was mad because he wanted me to go with him to Walgreens to get pictures off my SD card for my camera. I guess he thinks I’m a huge idiot or something because he was like “MRIs take all day, you won’t be back until late afternoon.” I said “No dad, I’ve had MRIs before.” He’s like, “When the fuck have you ever had an MRI?” I said, “When I broke my foot.” He goes, “That was probably a CT Scan.” I mean, really? I do know what the fuck I’m doing some of the time. It’s not that hard to pop a memory card in a machine and follow what the screen says. Rory said he’d go with him. It turns out, Erica missed the MRI anyway so we’re at H+R Block doing her taxes. I don’t want to do mine, but I know I have to. I hope Erica makes good on her offer to get Publix subs after this. Subway is next door and it smells heavenly. I doubt they take food stamps but Publix does. Mmmmmm. The cutest guy is here at H+R Block but he’s probably only like 22 tops. Then there’s an old man who keeps looking at me. Ugh. And I keep smelling Subway! Man… so… my dreams last night were so weird. I went missing for three or four days…
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