8:57pm
Hey Chels,
Meh. I guess I am starting to feel better, but I am still all boogery. Thank God I don't have a cough or sore throat. At least this is something I can deal with.
Ugh. I have not heard from anybody today. I miss my boyfriend. I haven't see him since October 16th. Well, 17th because I left that Monday. And I saw him for a second at the gas station on Tuesday. But I haven't heard much from him in the past couple weeks and I have yet to hear from him today. I don't feel like there's anything really wrong, but I do feel like there is a lot going on with his job and him feeling like he doesn't have enough time for anything. I should call him and when he answers I'll be like, "yay you're still alive," and then hang up lol. But no. And actually, it's okay. I still feel really crummy and if I talked to him and he wanted me to go visit I'd probably say yes and then get myself even more sick or get him sick. Which is not something that needs to be happening. So, hopefully we will see each other soon when we're healthy and not contagious.
I am watching this show called "Psychic Kids" and I really wish that something like this had been around when I was a kid. For the first 20 years I lived in this house I felt scared to go into dark rooms alone, had frequent nightmares, heard voices whisper my name, among other things. I don't believe it was anything in the house so much as the whole neighborhood. And it also didn't help that my dad was less than supportive.
Ugh, I would love to write more but unfortunately I'm already getting tired. I miss you and I hope you are doing okay. I think all the shit that's going on between Jessica and Erica is crazy. Who to believe? Who to trust? Where to go when everyone takes Erica's side over yours? I personally feel like it's because she has a job. If you had a job too they wouldn't have sided with her. I'm not saying it's right, I'm just saying that's how I feel about why they picked her. But I also feel like Erica shouldn't bite the hand that feeds her. You took her in -- not her "real" family. And this is how she treats you? I'm sorry but that is just plain stupid. You have been putting up with her all year. The kicker is, didn't I just get finished saying how I was beginning to like her again? Ugh. At least Jess was there for you this time. But frankly, I don't like either of them.
I wish you could find a job. I think it's nuts that you haven't found one yet. You have more than paid for your past mistake and I feel like people should be more understanding. Yes, you stole something. But you paid way more than it was worth and it wasn't YOUR fault they were lazy in contacting unemployment.
And yeah, it IS fucked up that you can't get a job in the field you studied for. But you know what? Neither can anyone else! And these people aren't just coming from career colleges, they are also coming from 4 year universities. Imagine going away for college for 4 years and having a 4.0 GPA and graduating and then being forced to live at home with your parents waiting tables at Ihop or being unemployed because no one will hire you. This is what the country is dealing with right now. People who have been with companies for 20+ years are being let go because they are "costing the company too much money" or they are "too old." And then they hire these newbies who have little to no skills because they don't have to pay them as much. And then you have people going to school who won't get hired because they don't have as much experience as someone who has been working for 20+ years. That's what this Occupy Wallstreet thing is all about. I know you can't stand politics, but this is effecting you greatly. So maybe it's something to look into. Like this lady who came to evaluate my family yesterday. First of all, she is 40 minutes late. The first thing she asks me is who I am. I say I'm the personal assistant. She asks where my client is. I say he's still asleep. She answers back, "well, that's not a very efficient use of your time now is it?" FROM THE WOMAN WHO WAS 40 MINUTES LATE!!! I was like, "well, I live here."
It just got weirder from there. This lady had to have been 60 years old at least and she was nicer to the dog than she was to us. She kept asking my dad why he couldn't do housework or make himself something to eat. And my mom and I kept saying he has trouble with multiple instructions. It's not that he doesn't like it, it's just that he feels like he will fail so why try. Granted, his mother never made him do any housework whatsoever. But I'm pretty sure he is well aware of how a cleaning utensil works. He just can't figure out all the steps that go from point a to point b. Yes, he can do a lot more for himself than he used to be able to. But he will always need someone to be there. If he was left alone for too long (if I had to find other employment) he would regress and get worse. He is the way he is BECAUSE of my mom and I.
Anyhow, this woman admitted to only be working with this company since March. I'm not sure why she went into this field, but I'm sure it's not because she had a lot of other choices.
Ugh!
9:53pm
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