6/8/12

6/8/12
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I’m attempting to write more!  I think cause I finally got a lot of the crappy exhausting things out of the way it will be easier to write.  I also found some really pretty boxes at Big Lots that I want to put this and other things in.  I may try to finish this before LA and do a whole new one FOR LA. It depends on how much I can allow myself to work on this.  Maybe if I write every day.  I think I still have to tell you about Ryan Mac.  Yea there’s some Ryan Mac stuff.  I fucking love that kid.  As messed up as he is, he still has good things to offer the world.  He’s doing a bit better with the drug issue and I think it’s because he hasn’t really had a phone.  He’s really trying to find the good in himself but he has been saying weird things.  Two weeks ago, I let him know I still love him and I miss him and he was like, “I think what you’re saying is you still feel for me.”  THAT week, yea I did.  I was missing him for some reason.  Now, I feel completely free of it.  Anyway, that night, he asked “what if I kissed you right now?”  I said, “You can’t, I have a boyfriend.”  All he said was, “I know.”  I was so upset by it that night, but now I’m like-- “I got past one of the things I was scared to be with Brian for. I proved to myself that I can move past Ryan Mac.”  So yay.  Then last week was a whole mess of things.  Ryan and Sara Sue (ugh) were chatting and she was kind of all over him and then later proceeded to tell me she didn’t want him or even like him except oh, Sasha thinks Sara should date him. Lol Ry and I laughed about that.  Good luck with that kiddo.  He’s difficult to date trust me.  Anyway, he told me later if I was with anyone else, he would already have tried to sabotage it.  It’s like, WTF why?  You had your fucking chance G*d dammit.  It’s really not a huge deal it’s really just a wtf kind of thing.  Brian told me later that Ryan watched me walk away somewhere and mutter something about getting me back or something.  Then he turned around and started talking to Brian.  It was evidently before the whole comment about sabotage.  So who know what’s going on there, but NOTHING will come between me and Brian.  Not another person anyway.  Brb, lunch….
Ok, back.  Yummy!  The rest of my Zinger Mountain melt. It’s fries, cheese, and chicken strips mixed together with mild garlic sauce (at least that’s how I order it).  I’m glad to hear this summer is dedicated to you!  You deserve it.  What will you be doing?  I’m just working, seeing movies with my man, going to parties, and taking the boyfriend to Universal Studios for his birthday.  (July 9th).  Yay!  Universal!  Other than that I’ll just save for LA!  I can’t wait to go to California.  I wanna run into Kandee Johnson and IJustine!  Not to mention the big celebs!