4:05pm
Hey Chelsea,
I'm not sure how much I'm gonna write, but I just feel like I need to. I just got back from Sarah's house and I'm so glad that I went. I got to see Killer and also talk through a lot of things with her. She is done with Barry too. At first she didn't know what to believe but when I showed her all the pictures I had taken of everything, it just confirmed what she heard. I don't even know where to begin in even processing this. I just can't believe that someone as smart as him would do something THIS stupid. We even talked about it and he said something about trying heroin or something but not intravenously... or maybe it was meth? Fuck I don't know. But he prided himself on knowing what exactly what amount would do and I think he said something about taking it in pill form? Like making a capsule? As far as I knew, he would never put anything in his arm. but this was years ago. He knew how I felt about this being a huge dealbreaker. I first started noticing a change in the summer right when George got an office in the tower. He had Barry working on this huge complicated phone system and we'd still see each other but he started falling asleep during sex. I chalked it up to him being really fucking tired. Things just sort of got bizarre from there but I have a whole journal filled with all these weird incidents so you can read for yourself.
Sarah is going to see him on Sunday. I almost want to go out of support for her because I don't want her to be alone, but I don't want to see him or have anything to do with him. I knew for months that something wasn't right -- things weren't adding up. But now they are and I'm just floored. Not only did I lose my boyfriend, I lost him to jail and heroin. HEROIN! When George told me he got picked up I thought it must have been just pot! But this is just... and those disgusting pictures. Fucking sick fucks, both him and Chris. STUPID FUCKING CHRIS!
I am gonna put everything I have of Barry's in a box and I dunno what I'm gonna do with the pictures yet. A part of me still wants to keep the ones of me that I think are cute, but it's just too painful to think about right now. I need a nap :/.
<3,
me
4:35pm
No comments:
Post a Comment