Friday, July 11, 2014

7/25/12

7/25/12
5:30pm
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Hey.  I’m at work.  I was only supposed to be here 11-5 but Joey told me to stay.  I was happy about it.  Then Tori was a bitch.  She was like, “Well at 6 I’m going to give you a section and you have to be quick and it better be spic and span.”  EXCUSE ME?  I stayed for you guys with unbearable back pain, do not be a bitch to me.  Just saying.
Today I’m an emotional wreck.  Brian and I did not break up but there’s a lot on my mind.  I feel a little let down.  I told him not too long ago how I’ve lived my whole life being told I’m oversensitive and my feelings are wrong.  I bawled my eyes out over it for God’s sake!  In pure fear that I was wrong, I cried and he comforted me (sort of) and he said he understood… now he says I’m always mad and he feels like he has to be careful about what he says to me and that I’m oversensitive.  I feel like he’s just another person telling me my feelings are never valid.  I can’t get mad because well, I’m just wrong.  What if everyone else is right and I’m just nuts salad?  God.  Anyway, we also talked about if he always felt that way then we shouldn’t be together.  We also talked about taking space from each other but I’m trying to honor that for him and now he’s not.  I don’t want to tell him how hurt I still am and how horrible I feel because I’m afraid to fight.  I’m afraid I’m just always wrong.  Maybe I’m just a shitty person.

<3,
me

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