8:52pm
Hey Chels,
Phew, what a day. I got the nb situation under control though so it will take some time but I will get that one and these out to you hopefully by the end of this year! Hmmmm?.
So... I got your last envelope! So happy that you are done. Tomorrow I will write to you and make sure you get more stamps so we can still write to each other.
I read the Adam stuff and it reminded me of what happened with Joe. I mean, everyone so united for like 6 months and then slowly people stopped talking to each other. And then people were getting pissed at me a lot for whatever bullshit reasons. And that was it. Part of the reason why Earnest hurt me so much was because even though I met him through Brian, I felt like he was my friend, too. And now that he found Lauren, I dunno. At the one tribute show everyone went to in 2007 (1 year after he died) Lauren was running around with her friends and completely ignoring me, after she had just told me that day that she thought of me as a sister. She didn't even know who Joe was. If he was alive, I bet he would have asked Earnest what the fuck he was doing with a girl like that. I see all of these pictures of Lauren with these people I once called my friends and it really fucking hurts, not just because they were once *my* friends, but now everyone just knows what Brian told them.
And the other Lauren (who married Drew). It hurt me that she turned on me so quickly. And then when we'd meet at shows she wouldn't stand near me if we were all alone. Like what did I ever do to her that was so bad? Oh right, told her I was concerned for her because her best friend had stopped talking to her and her parents were freaking out over her dating Drew. Not once did I ever come out and say her boyfriend was abusive, but suddenly she stopped talking to me and the whole world knows that *I* think Drew is abusive. Who fucking cares what I think? Apparently, nobody gave a shit that I was an actual caring person who would have and did do anything for these people if they asked. I listened to plenty of people bitch and moan for hours, ESPECIALLY Drew. And Lauren! Both of them. And now they're best friends and I'm still the bitch who was such a horrible friend and roommate. Umm, if it wasn't for me letting Earnest move in with Brian and me their relationship probably wouldn't have lasted. You're welcome, bitches!
I personally think that Brian gave everyone a false idea of who I was, because no one was expecting me. No one was expecting the REAL me, I should say. Now I wonder, if Joe had lived, how would that have changed the next 2 years? What would be different? Would he and I actually be real friends or would he have taken everyone else's side and abandoned me also?
In the back of my mind, I knew certain people (both Laurens, Mike, Drew, John, etc) only liked me because of Brian. But I really felt like I had made my own friends. The only one who actually turned out to be my real friend (besides you) is Vor. I love that transsexual! Lol. I really wanted my own life down in Florida. I had my own job, friends, places, and I think Brian felt threatened by that. I don't think he actually believed that I would ever get sick of his shit and leave him.
Oh, you want to know something? This one girl he was into at one point, Jennifer Denton, is pregnant. I think they were going to get together but then she found his mug shot. Then there was Sara Hendricks, who he liked but Nate went out with and now broke up with. Seems like she too had the problem of people talking shit about her as well.
Ugh? need a breeeeeeeeak!
<3,
Me
9:39pm
p.s. what should I do with the picture pages in here? Hmmmm?
No comments:
Post a Comment