12:25am
Hey Chel,
I just love writing the dates of this month numerically. I will definitely be taking advantage of that, lol. When will you ever get this again? 11__11. Totally cool! Anyway, I am feeling better about a lot of things. In the past 2 days I have spoken to Barry more than in the past couple weeks. Ever since the last time we saw each other his body has been giving him hell, first with the dehydration, then the flair up which included rashes and his face breaking out, then breaking his wrist (he hit it on a door frame and it cracked). Now he has to go on a trip and won't get my card till after he gets back. Well, I guess it will be a nice surprise to come home to so scratch that.
The hardest part of this is the separation. Aside from last year when we were just friends and I didn't hear from him for 4 months because he was with Sarah, this is the longest we've been apart from each other. I think it's the change in the weather, it's been hard on everyone.
But, instead of moping, I've been keeping myself incredibly busy. I still have this nb and your current nb to finish (which will be done as soon as I get your last package), I can focus on finishing this and getting it off to you.
I am still debating on whether or not I want to write about what the next nb will be, or if I just want to surprise you. I think I'm gonna end up telling you because I'm just so freaking excited and I can't help it.
So, last night I was looking at my myspace page and I just seeing all of the albums I have really took my breath away. I have at least 40 photo albums, dating back from 2006 at least. I would have more but I took the ones I had of us down because of that horrible fight. But starting with 2008 I have a ton of pictures, and I try to add albums every so often, just to see how far I've come. Well, that's where I got the idea.
I would go through random journal entries and pick out my favorite pictures of the past few years and take you on a journey of my life. I know we have shared a lot, but this is where things get "a little more personal," which is the name of this nb. I started in 2003 with the journal entries, but I still have to get through my pictures and decide what year I want to start with for them. Which means I need to find the boxes in my dad's closet with the pictures and go through them, unless I want to make it strictly Florida, which I think I do. I have to pick the pictures that speak the strongest to me, inspire the most feelings, what can I say about them? I want to see where this takes me and what I can come up with from 1 photo or group of photos (if they go together). I picked 2003 because that's when I fell in love with Brian and 2005 because that's when I moved to Florida, so I think I'm gonna keep it at that. Oh, and the journal entries are going to read like letters that are all going to be numbered and put into the huge envelope in the front cover of the nb.
The regular journal entries will be folded up and put in makeshift pockets on each page. So, you will be reading a lot of stuff and for a long time (will hopefully take longer than one day, lol). I actually cannot freaking wait to start this. I like that I have two things to work on at once. Oh and I am gonna try to find scraps of paper to add to it (if the background is dark. You'll see what I mean). I do have to warn you that I did write a lot of bad stuff about you, but I was mainly pissed at David and whatever situations you were in. But, like I said, it's as honest as opening up my brain yourself and reading every thought I've ever had. I almost wish I could hold onto these and just send you everything all at once, but that's just plain crazy. I got one nb that hasn't been opened since May and it's BEGGING to be read.
Ugh, tonight is definitely another Nyquil night. The branches are scratching my window so loudly that 3 pillows over my head would not do the trick alone.
<3,
Me
1:05am
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11/6/11
7:34pm
Hey Chelsea,
Wow, this random journal entry thing is a little rougher than I thought it would be. I was SO in love with Brian. I really thought we would be together for life. It just hurts to know that the reality was NOTHING like how things were in my head, in fact it ended up being so much worse. So sad. But, it's still a part of the story.
So anyhow, I am so starved for male attention. It is showing up in my dreams like every night lol. It has been 3 weeks and 1 day since I've had sex. Yikes. TOO DAMN LONG, especially when I have a boyfriend, lol.
So, I've come up with a system. When I work on NBS, I put the TV on or a movie or something. And when I'm writing in here I put on Olga Kay. Right now I'm at 17/50 season 1. Not sure how many of these you've watched but she is so cute!
Anyhow, went back to the library and got MORE books. Even though I JUST got done listening to both these books on CD, I got Something Borrowed and Something blue. I already read Something Borrowed, but there's no harm in reading it again, right? And then I got the Vampire Huntress Legend books again. I can't help it! I need to read them!
So, I have had something on my mind that I've been meaning to write about but never got a chance to do it. Well, here is my chance I guess. So, I have been with Barry for a while now. We have been through a lot together this year and I'm happy to be with him. We have never talked about getting married or anything but I have to admit that sometimes I think about it. I don't think he wants any children but that's mostly because he has a TON of medical problems and would not want to pass those down. But the kid would be mine, too, so maybe it would have a better chance at not having as many problems. I dunno, maybe I can see myself settling down with this guy. But I am totally keeping this shit to myself.
Have you ever heard of 2 girls 1 cup on YouTube.com? I guess they're eating poop? I have yet to actually see the actual video. See, I don't get it. People can do THAT but they can't put porn on there. Not like I'd watch YouTube.com porn but still. Apparently, people are disgusting. Like you felt the need to make a disgusting video just to make yourself popular? Lame. Anyhow, study day tomorrow! I am actually excited to get back into it.
<3,
Me
8:23pm
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