2-4-12

2-4-12
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Man,
If I don’t get crackin’, I’m never gonna finish this and I really wanted to be finished by Valentine’s Day so I could send everything off at once.  I have extra crafty stuff to do.  Bah humbug.  Anyway, I have a couple hours to write.  Then I go to work.  I’m covering for Brittany.  Her car is fucked so she can’t make it to work.  So yay more hours for me.  Lol.  Ryan wanted me to go to his house after work.  I was thinking of going but I probably won’t.  I told him “goodbye” as far as relationships with him go, but I still haven’t really let go.  We hang out more, but something always breaks my heart.  We have the greatest time together.  He keeps telling me we’re gonna end up together one day and everyone will say “He’s madly in love with you but…” But he’s too fucked up to be with anyone.  He thinks the only help he needs is me, his sister and his dad.  How can I help him if he hangs around these fucked up people?  No, he doesn’t want the help!  So yea, I know I’m holding onto something I shouldn’t bother with.  But I can’t completely walk away….
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--Now I’m home from work.  Was kind of a shitty shift.  Customers were assholes.  And I couldn’t finish my cart of stuff to put out.  So I’m sure I’ll have to do it tomorrow.  I’m kind of mad that I have to work tomorrow but I’m off On Mon, Tues, Wed, and Friday.  Which is decent.  My dad’s birthday is Wednesday.  I hope I’m off on Sunday and Monday next week so I can spend time with my mother…. I guess we’ll see.
I’m also feeling a little hurt towards Stephanie and Barb right now.  I feel like they leave me out, or they’re closer or something to each other than they are to me.  I mean maybe it’s cuz they both have kids?  I don’t know, kind of makes me feel like avoiding them both which is hard cause I work with them.  Plus Stephanie’s brother Brian (the one with the 8 year old son) and I have this thing or whatever.  I won’t say anything to them because I’m just exhausted on drama and either I’ll see how wrong I am or they’ll lose me as a close friend.  *sigh*
In other news, Debbie (Winter’s gramma) is super ill with congestive heart failure and is in the hospital.  Winter is a little upset and doesn’t understand everything so it sucks.  Poor baby, I hope her father has called her like he said he would--to comfort her.  Speak of the devil… He just called me to tell me he’s been trying to call Winter, and his plans for her.  I guess Jess claimed Bella and with part of that money, David is taking $300.00 of it and putting it in a bank account and sending Winter $50.00 a month from it.  He wants Sara to agree to let him claim Winter next income tax time and to let Winter come down for the summer.  *sigh* Alright so here’s how I feel about all this fuckery.  First of all-- “good effort,” David, considering you haven’t been a part of her life for 5 years now!  Second of all--$300.00?  That’s it?  You give her $50 a month for 6 months and suddenly you expect Sara to bend over backwards for you?  That’s comical.  She’s never going to agree to it.  Not only that, but I don’t know how much Jess and David got back (Well, Jess--cause they filed separately.  Actually, he didn’t file at all).  But Winter is her stepdaughter now so I’d think she’d be worth more than $50.00 a month for 6 months.  I know she has shit and a kid to take care of also but damn.

Alright more tomorrow.

<3,
me