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Hey. Right now I’m so upset I’m shaking and crying. I’m guessing I’ll do a lot of writing today. Last night Brian and I went to Bru’s Room to see Jessica and everything was going fine. Then I went to sing and it’s a song I sing to him and he didn’t come in. So I mentioned it and him and Justin acted like jackasses about it. He gets influenced easily by guys/friends it seems to me and I don’t like that. Especially because he complains when I act bitchy because of when I’ve hung around Erin. Not saying I’m perfect I obviously do it. When we left, we were fine I thought. In my room he started being a jerk again. More later I am going with Jess (she’s getting her nipples tattooed…. yea).
I’m back 7 hours later. So much for all that writing today. Now I’m really behind. Still, it was nice to be with a friend when I’m in such a bad place.
So where was I? Right. We were watching Instant Star and I started to joke around saying he didn’t like the show and he got all worked up thinking I was serious. He started to say something and then he snaps at me and says, “I’ll talk to you in a second.” He took a drink of water and then he went to sleep. I couldn’t sleep for a long time so I was just awake and then I heard him pee the bed again and I tried to wake him up and couldn’t so I shrugged it off. It doesn’t bother me that he pees the bed. What bothers me is that he drinks enough to do it. We went to bru’s saying we’d only drink one pitcher or two together. He had two by himself and I had a pina colada, a draft beer, and a glass of wine. He had two pitchers of and a draft so. His health isn’t bad, he just drinks and it gets ridiculous I don’t know. I finally fell asleep and yet was up and down all night and at one point he was awake too so I made sure I asked him if he was ok (I mean he was sitting in his own piss for God’s sake) and I told him I loved him and kissed him etc and every time we were both awake I did that and he just seemed fine. when we woke up this morning, same thing, fine--kissing even talked about having sex (but there was no time). Then we discussed the bed wetting thing and I mentioned not going out anymore. He said we had to because of the contest Thursday at the Duke and I said he could go but I didn’t want to and that’s when things really went downhill. He said he he went alone that’s when he would get in a lot of trouble. I asked wtf that meant and he just kept saying “nothing” and he couldn’t remember. I knew it was a lie. I called him on it, he got mad… and he wouldn’t even say he loved me when he left. I’m just really hurt. Now we’re going to go have a drink and talk things out. I’m going to write until he’s here, but I don’t want to write about Brian right now. I’ll tell you how all that goes tomorrow when I’m off work.
Jess did get her nipples pierced. She wanted electrical tape in an x tattooed across her nipples. And she wanted them in hot pink but the guy told her it would look like hot pink smudges and she wouldn’t like it. So he talked her into something else and it’s fucking amazing! Ok g2g more later….
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