9:30pm
Ugh. I feel like complete and utter crap. I also feel like my boyfriend doesn't love me anymore which I know is completely false. It's just my hormones and whenever I'm on my period I freak out about my relationship. So stupid!
I did manage to do some good today and I have some news. I bought a microphone on amazon.com! I felt like it was stupid to have to read everything to myself and THEN type it out. If I can read to my computer then that would eliminate all the extra reading I have to do PLUS typing. Which means I can save my hands (yay)! Okay so? piece of news #1. My friend Iggy put this thing on his Facebook asking if anyone is interested in doing performance poetry. I talked to him today about it and he said that his agency is looking for some more poets to add to the college circuit. My only problem is that I've never read my poetry out loud on a stage so I would have to do that first. It's a lot of travel but it's not like I'll never be home or anything. In the meantime I should find any places around here that offer poetry readings and have open mic nights. I am pretty sure my library would know.
Okay, another piece of news. There is this New Age store in Crystal Lake that just underwent new management and is looking for new psychics/tarot readers. So Monday, Monique and I will be going over there. Neither of us heard back from Sue, the lady from Howl at the Moon in Richmond, which is probably just as well because it was quite far away from me (almost 2 hours from Elgin). So Monique wants to try there and this place in Hoffman Estates called Styx and Stonz. I think it would be awesome to work as a psychic. But I am still pursuing my first love, massage. I can't believe it's taken me this long to pursue my dream. Sometimes I feel like all I'm doing is studying and getting nowhere, and I really hate that. But this is my passion in life. When I am massaging someone, I feel so alive. My favorite sound in the world is the sound of someone snoring because not only are they completely relaxed, they are in a deep sleep. That means that they are completely trusting me with their lives. It's not like I would take advantage of anyone, but there is something to be said about someone who could make ANYBODY relax, if even for 1 hour or even less. And when someone tells me I got a spot that no one else has been able to get or that has been hurting them for the longest time, that's like music to my ears. There are just so many things I'd love to do with this massage thing: rehabilitate animals, equestrian, doolah, cancer/special needs, pregnancy, reiki, and whatever else I can do. I've been to school twice! I am not gonna go back to learn the same things I learned before. But if I had known that ECC had a massage program, maybe I would have left Florida sooner (broke up with Brian like a year before I actually did). Ack, who the fuck knows how anything is gonna go? I should have, I AM psychic, lol.
At any rate, my head is fucking KILLING me right now. Hopefully tomorrow I will feel a little better and up to doing more than watching Gilmore Girls. Don't get me wrong, I love them. But after all the studying/nbs I've done all week, I feel so lazy for not doing anything. Not like I can think with this stupid headache and burning muscles. But I bet if I was doing something productive instead of just laying around, my mind wouldn't be free to be all depressed and whatnot. I was just feeling blue because it has been 4 full weeks since I've seen Barry. It fucking sucks because he lives like 2 minutes away from me. I don't want to break up or anything but aside from missing him so much I feel like that's the only thing I have to show for having a boyfriend right now. On the plus side it seems like Chris is doing better, but I dunno yet. That's another issue entirely.
Lots of stuff coming up, hopefully it will be enough to finally finish this up. Am going to have to rethink the whole birthday package thing considering I have to redo this whole Volume 8. But I will keep you posted on that (in here, of course).
<3 you!
Rita
10:26pm
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