11/30/11

11/30/11
4:25pm

Hey Chels,
Awww, the last day I get to write 11/11.  Sad.  Anyhow? so today was a lot better than yesterday.  I feel bad that Monique completely shut the door on our friendship. I can't believe she would say that she "Can't trust me" because I chose to be honest and respond to her.  Okay, people don't realize that when they're constantly asking "why Why why why why why why doesn't this person like me?  What did I do?" etc? that is exactly the kind of behavior that makes people back off and not want to be friends with them.  And all that FB "woe is me" crap? That's the shit you and I USED to do to each other when we were young and immature.  She even went so far as to text bomb my phone and when I finally responded she said that she "had already said goodbye" to me.  You know what that sounds like?  A coward who is so insecure she doesn't want to hear anything about herself being less than perfect.  It's not like I'm gonna make a laundry list of things about her that bother me.  I was just waiting for my anger to calm down so I could explain things right.  But for someone who claims to be mature, that was the complete opposite of maturity.  I wish that things could have been different as well. I wish she could have given me space to calm down so I could talk again when I was ready.  Who walks out on a friendship after 1 fight?
I guess she wasn't telling me the complete truth either of things she "saw" when she read my cards.  But she had to have known that certain things she said pissed me off, especially when we were in the car together.  For someone who claims to be psychic, it wasn't very insightful of her to just let that go instead of talking things out.
It's not the first time it's happened and if I kept hanging out with her it would have been more of the same until I did snap on her and then it would have been worse.
I doubt I will be hearing from her again, except to maybe get my phone charger back (not like I need one when I have 3 different ways to charge my phone).

Wow-- I am really and truly done with this nb!  And I can start on my next one!  This is a happy, happy day.

Wow, I can't believe it took me till almost December to finish this book.  I am going to try and hurry up with the editing so I can get this to you by Christmas (plus cookies).  I want to say that I love you and I'm so grateful for how far we've come.  If there was anyone to share this experience with me, I'm glad it's you.

It has been one helluva year.  Let's see what the next one will bring for both of us!
<3,
Me

5:09pm

End here ~~~~>
<~~~~~~Start?

The messages between Monique and I:

Me:
Hey,
I know you must be very bothered about what is going on right now.  I want you to know that I'm not finished being friends with you but I am really pissed off and I don't trust myself to say what is on my mind without getting extremely angry.  So I will talk to you when I'm ready to.  I hope that is understandable, if not then I don't know what to tell you.
Blessed Be,
Rita

Her:
Are you talking to me?

me:
I messaged you so yeah that message was meant for you.

her:
When did you message me?

me:
..... just now

her:
You know what, I don't know what you're upset about. All I know as that unless you tell me what I said or did that's wrong, I won't know what was said or done and won't be able to take further action regarding it either way. We haven't even talked recently. And as far as you just messaging me, as I said, I've been having problems with facebook and I was under the impression that we were speaking in reply to one of your posts and not privately.

her:
I'm really upset with you because of this. I haven't said boo to you in over a week and you fucking ignore me and put up some snarky message about cutting people out of your life. If that's what you want, just let me know why and do it. But I've been a goddamned good friend to you. This is very upsetting.

me:
well fine, you can be upset with me all you want to.  but like i said before, i'm pissed at you and not ready to talk yet.  so feel whatever way you want to feel about it.

her:
But take whatever time you need to explain whatever the situation is to me. And believe me you're not the only one pissed now Rita. Thank you for at least acknowledging that there is in fact a problem. I saw this happening a long time ago and knew I'd be blindsided by it. I just hoped it wouldn't happen. I don't know what else to say. I've never lost a friend over something that I didn't know I even did before and you totally crushed me with that. That's not me name-calling, or trying to get you to feel sorry for me. That's just me being honest with you. You're not the only person I'm having problems with right now-though the other people that I'm having problems with are not upset with me. I'm upset with them. I will let you be until if and when you feel you want to explain whatever happened/was done/said. Again, not many people can hurt me but I'm really fucking debated by this. I feel like its totally out of the blue. You were very important to me and I wouldve done anything for you. Bye.

her:
Devastated* not debated