1:45pm
Happy birthday, Chels!
Wow. This is your golden birthday. I am PRAYING that this one goes well because, well, you know. I love you so much and I am so proud to not just be your friend but to know you. These past 9 years have been nothing if not eventful, but also filled with memories that I will always cherish. We have seen each other through just about everything -- falling in love, relationships ups and downs, friend drama, work drama, roommate drama, lots of different hairstyles, big decisions, life directions, happy family moments, sad/just plain ugly family moments, just everything from the past 9 years. Even when we weren't talking you were still with me. No one knows everything that I've been through quite like you and vice versa. Your friends now see a type of woman but they don't know how she got that way. Except for the abbreviated version. I lived it with you. And same for you. People now hear what I've been through but you've seen me crawl out the other end. You've seen me at my complete worst and you've seen the woman that I've grown into. There is no replacing that.
{Ugh, my vagina hurts. And not in a good way. I mean, it felt good at the time but I'm paying for it now. I literally think I'm going to have to ice it in a bit.
I went over to Barry's last night. It was sort of weird because we hadn't really made any sort of concrete plans but he asked me if I still wanted to come out. I said, "sure" and got there around 11pm. He had gone to a gas station on the way home from his dad's house and picked up this vibrating ring. We tried it out and at the time it felt good but now my vag really fucking hurts. I think he was a little too rough with it or something. Don't get me wrong, at first it felt really good. But after however long, it started to really hurt, especially from all the stimulation that was going on. If he wants to use it again I'm just going to have to get a little bossy if he wants to go faster (sorry, trying not to be too gross here). I'm gonna say that it was totally worth it, but I'm gonna have to make sure not to get so carried away next time so it doesn't hurt this bad again.} do not put in printed nb
So, I finally figured out what I'm gonna do for the next nb. Any pictures I print will be ones that are already on my myspace because that's a lot easier, the pictures are already on the computer (plus it would cost less than to reprint them). I'm still gonna do most of the other things the same as I had planned before though.
Ugh, so I guess Monique is kissing my ass today. She all of a sudden "likes" my posts that she was insulting me on earlier. After I said "not really," she wrote: "lol I figured it was some new song or something. And no it's not literally scary just kinda oooooookay wtf scary." to which I replied, "yeah, there's no digging yourself out of that one." and she said: "digging who's self out of what what?"
Look. I know exactly what she meant by "scary." Not spooky scary, but "wtf" scary. But what she said just made it all the more clear that that's in fact what she meant to say, which makes me feel worse because it does read like she was in fact insulting me. And then she claims to pretend like she doesn't know what I mean. and being all nice and "liking" my statuses that she was clearly just insulting me on. Yeah, no thank you. I think it will be a while before I talk to her again. My mom and I had this insight that makes so much sense to me. Monique purposely made it so that I didn't really have a choice if I wanted to stay overnight and she was royally pissed that I wanted to go home. 1) she picked me up. 2) she didn't bother mentioning a sleepover until after we were 30 minutes away from my house, 3) she told her mom I was sleeping over when I hadn't even fully committed to it, 4) she talked me out of getting the ice cream I really wanted (burger king hot fudge sundae), 5) she would not stop talking about Door County for new years. How many times can 1 person say no to that? I have told her before that it's my anniversary with my bf and she's like, "you have those already?" I was just like, "well duh what do you think that word means?"
I'm just sick of this crap. When she's cool and not all crazy like this, I love hanging out with her. But it's shit like this that makes me feel like I really don't need this shit. I mean, who kidnaps someone into sleeping over at their house? I totally would have packed a bag if she had just told me. But no.
Some of the things she writes on my FB are just plain stupid. She asked my cousin what a sleep over was because my cousin told me to bring my jammies. At least my cousin prepared me!!
Ugh. I am so tired and I really should get to studying.
<3,
Me
2:57pm
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