same day, 6:00pm

6:00pm
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Hey Lady,
I’m finally at Starbucks!  Whee!  My “friend” isn’t here but I didn’t think he would be at 6pm.  But I finally got to read some more of the nb!  That Mark story.  I love how you and he were doing stuff while Erin was in the bathroom.  And the fact that she would sleep with some guy even though she likes someone else who doesn’t even like her is just insane!  I would never ever sleep with anyone that I didn’t want to sleep with.
I know what you mean about the whole “eating out” (or going down) thing.  The first guy I ever let do that was Mike.  And he only did it twice.  He just wanted sex out of me.  It felt like I was getting pierced down there.  Brian was better, but he would get way rough and after a while it would hurt.  It was like that during sex, too.  I would orgasm and then be too sensitive to be touched.  You know how sometimes when the guy is on top and right before you’re going to cum you sort of push the guy away?  You’re not pushing him away, you’re just bracing yourself.
The first time Brian and I slept together I did that and he got really upset about it so we had to talk about it.  Yes, I’m serious.  He was like, “Right when you were about to cum, you pushed me away.  Is everything okay?  Are you happy with me?”  This coming from the guy who was too afraid to really kiss me because of what Jen did to him (the gf before her, Melissa, who taught him how to kiss, had killed herself and Jen would make fun of him for not kissing her).  Yet he had no problems having sex.
Anyhow.. with Ryan it’s completely different.  I know I haven’t really written about our sex life too much… I probably won’t, either.  It’s nothing against you, I know that you are happy for us or whatever, but to me it’s like… it’s how Jes talks to you about David.  I know you probably wouldn’t care, but I do.  I don’t want to write out about sex with Ryan because, to me, it’s just oversharing.  I can’t really explain it.  I know you guys didn’t have a serious relationship, and you didn’t exactly have sex, but there was some intimacy there.  I guess I’m trying to say I just don’t feel right discussing the physically intimate aspects of my relationship with someone who felt about Ryan the way that you did.
Does that make any sense?  Like I said, you would probably “be ok” with it, but I just don’t want to go there.
Okay… with that being said, I will say that when I’m… “with” Ryan, I never ever feel like I need a break, even if the loving is going very well.  Just in the same way that I never get sick of him being touchy feely with me when we’re just hanging out, it’s the same way in bed.  We usually just go until one of us (mainly him) can’t breathe anymore.
And yeah… that’s pretty much it.  Lol, I did end up telling him that when we live together, 6 times a week.  It probably won’t always be like that, but I’m optimistic.
Okay-- enough with that.  That’s pretty much all you’re going to get out of me, lol.  So… I am thinking of taking a Facebook break for a while.  The day after I got back from Florida, guess who should message me but Kristie.  She asked when I was coming down next and I said “New Years.”  Ugh… this stupid discharge is ridiculous.  I feel completely disgusting.  It goes away and comes back… I was rid of it for a while but it’s back now.  It’s part of the whole ovarian cyst/uteran fibroid problem.  But I’m not in a lot of pain, which is good.  Alright so anyhow, she told me her “boyfriend” wouldn’t be back from GA until February.  But here’s the thing--they haven’t met in person yet.  They met through text message and “fell in love.”  She was like, “you probably think I’m crazy.”  You know what I think is crazy?  The fact that she can have a full-on relationship with someone through text message and she can’t text me.  Ever.  You would never guess who I heard from that night--Mike!  The guy I hooked up with when I got home in ‘08.  I had been trying to get him to add me to his facebook after I heard his name called out at an EHS football game (alumni) last year.  I had gone to watch the game with my friend, Shelly.  And that is also a funny story.  I had gone to church with her since we were little so I’ve known her my whole life.  She is dating this guy who lives right in my neighborhood and when we reconnected on facebook, she told me where he lived.  So… we reunited.  It was so nice to have her back.  When I found out you (David) wrote that note to Brian, I texted her and she came to rescue me.  I was so mad I was ready to bitch everyone and their mother out.  But she got me out of the house and I even took her to a football game.  I heard Mike’s name called as one of the alumni in the crowd but I didn’t see him.  I wanted him to see how much better I was doing, but I didn’t want to deal with him.  So we left.
Anywho… over a year went by and I JUST saw his name pop up again so I just said, “what the hell, why not?”  And added him again.  Within the hour he added me AND we had a long conversation.  Apparently he broke up with his longtime girlfriend and had moved back home with his parents.  I asked what happened and he said it “just didn’t work.”  So whatever.  He was nice though, which surprised me because the last time we talked he was really rude.
Well, I do have more to write, but I need to start heading home.  It’s almost 7pm already.  Eek!

<3,
me

7:00pm