3/19/11

3/19/11

Ugh cramps. Still.  Fuck fuck fuck.  I reactivated my facebook.  I'm just not going to comment much or put statuses up very often.  Facebook is like asking for drama.  People, including me, hide behind a wall and pretend they are courageous enough to say things they would never say in real life, no matter how true it is.  In any case, I apologized to Justin for my harsh comment.  I wrote:

Chelsea Loomis March 19 at 6:10pm

This message doesn't require or even encourage a response.  I just wanted to apologize for the comment I left on Erica's status.  I also HAVE told you before that I think you have to stop trying to play games with people and just be upfront and honest, but I realize that the way it came out on Erica's page was very harsh and I am sorry that I said it.  I really was only trying to make HER feel better, Justin.
You hurt me too.  First by telling me that I got right in the middle of things between you both.  I seldom try to get in the middle of things and I have been trying to avoid drama at all costs and you know that.  You called me and told me you were going to break up with her, you tell me everything, as does Erica.  So Justin you kind of PUT me in the middle of it.  I wasn't trying to start a fight between you or cause all sorts of group drama, all I did was leave a comment to make HER feel better.  The second time you hurt me was when you told Erica I was being hateful on Monday at Alex's party. When was I hateful?  All I did was stay out of your way.  I knew you were there but didn't feel that talking to you was a good idea at the time so I just kept my mouth shut.  How was that hateful and when have you ever seen me be hateful to ANYONE with the exception of the comment I left on Erica's status? The third time you hurt me was when you actually believed I would sit there and fill Erica's head with shit about you.  Did you ever really know me at all?  I don't go out of my way to talk shit constantly about people.  Everything Erica feels about you was her own realization/feeling and did not come from me.

Facebook is not only a social network to find people you know from back when and catch up with people, it is poison.  Shit gets said and people lose friends over it.  I'm not perfect Justin, and I never claimed that I was.  I never thought you were a terrible person and never said you were a terrible person.  I just happened to put something out on facebook that was a mere opinion, and it was overly harsh.  I wish that instead of immediately writing me off and deleting me and telling me good riddance, you had come to me and talked it out with me.  But you didn't.  So we both did something we regret doing.  You may not regret it now, but maybe one day you will.  And when [if] you do, I still wish you the very best in life.

So once again, I am really sorry for hurting you.

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I don't really care if he accepts it or not.  I hope one day he realizes how he has hurt people and stops blaming everyone else for his crappy ways.  Eric has a serious God complex so I hope one day someone knocks him off that high horse he's on. Traci messaged me the same day all that shit with Eric happened and said she'd have to remove me if I kept sharing info about her with my bro.  All I did was tell him she was in a new relationship and I only told him because her new boyfriend has the same last name as my ex brother-in-law (my sister's ex husband, Michael Wilson).  I'm just over the bs on FB.  People piss me off and I know that I am oversensitive and cynical and sometimes I have this "everyone is out to get me" attitude.  I also know I should let things roll off my back and move on but that's just not who I am.  I've dealt with so much bullshit from people and never said a word but the moment I stick up for myself -- I'm wrong AGAIN.  I can't seem to get it right.

Love,
Star