5/9/11

5/9/11

Well, I'm home.  Sorry I didn't write all weekend, it was just too much.  We got to Brunswick around 11:30pm Friday night.  Riley was sick and Reegan was in an energetic mood.  She was very happy to see Rory.  My mom was in a real shitty mood but it probably had more to do with her being worried about Tucker.  Still, being snapped at is NOT what I needed when we pulled in.  Well, it wasn't right then but not too long after.  Anyway, she went home to get some things and called freaking out cuz Tucker wouldn't move. He had become incontinent so he peed all over himself.  My mom ended up staying at that house with Tucker instead of at the hotel with us.  I'm glad for that, but wish I'd been there with him... Anyway, the next morning we took him to the vet and let him go.
That day, we went to Jeykll Island to the Sea Turtle Museum.  I'd taken a long nap beforehand so afterwords took another long nap because I was still so tired.  We all had dinner at Old Times Country Buffet.  Then my mom, Riley and I went to the bookstore.
Sunday morning my mom cuddled a little with me and then we all went to breakfast.  After breakfast we went to St Simon's Island and the kids got to play by the pier and on the playground.  My mom took us to Target, then we met Traci and her boyfriend (who I found rude) and gave the kids back.  my dad, Rory, and I left at nearly 4PM and got back home around 9:30PM.  And that was my trip to Georgia.  Now, I can write about Tucker.  I really can't believe he's gone.  I know he was old, and I know animals (and people) die but it was just so quick.  I mean, Friday afternoon I found out he was super sick and Saturday morning I said goodbye.  He lost 6 lbs in a week I think my mom told me.  I don't get how she's so at peace with this.  I mean, maybe it's cause he's been with her since 2008 and she's seen him deteriorate, but it bugs me that she's able to accept it.  I'm not sure if that's right or wrong, it just IS.  I guess I feel like maybe... well, what if we decided too quickly?  What if the medicine Dr Hamid gave him just needed more time?  Then, on the other hand, did I really want him to suffer the way he was for any longer?  He was actually worse after that medication.  I just don't know, but I'm clearly not at peace with this.
I got Tucker when I was 16.  My dad and I were at Bud's Chicken getting dinner and we heard all these dogs barking behind the building.  We walked over to these cages and there he was.  He was so beautiful and he looked at me the same way I looked at him--like I just had to have him.  I didn't really have to beg for him.  My parents were pretty agreeable--I think because we'd just had to put our chocolate lab, Mikey, to sleep, not too long beforehand.  I had to wait a while for Tucker because he had to go through the county animal shelter, but it was well worth the wait because Tucker was so loyal and so sweet.  He was full of nothing but love, and gave me so many laughs.  I named him because I had a great love for this Disney show called Flash Forward.  The two main characters were Becca and Tucker. Well, I had Becky (she was the lab I got with Mikey) and so I wanted to name Tucker, Tucker.  my mom thought it was perfect, and so Tucker it was.  I'll never forget when we brought home a huge chocolate cake from Toojays. Tucker jumped up (or nosed it until it fell off the counter) and ate it all.  Lol.  He didn't even get sick!  Suffice it to say, Tucker was the best.  When David and I were moving out of Sandpiper Cove, Erin said no to Tucker because we had to pay extra $$ to have him.  David wouldn't pay it, and Erin didn't want to be evicted over it, so I asked my dad to take Tucker until I could afford the deposit to have him where we lived.  My dad was fine with it and everything was set in motion until Traci decided she needed to step in.  She bitched me out saying she didn't want Tucker on all her furniture, and that she'd end up having to take care of Tucker herself.  I was so mad because the bitch was living in my dad's house.  It made me mad that everyone just let her get away with behavior like that.  Now that I think about it, I'm really glad I just let her have her way though.  I can just imagine ignoring her and sending Tucker there anyway and finding out one day that she'd taken him to the pound.  I couldn't let that happen.  But I also couldn't bear to send him to a new home with people he didn't know.  So luckily, my mom took him in.  he was with her from 2008 to 2011, the day he went to heaven.  It's so heartbreaking to feel like I abandoned him.  I feel like I've been forced to give up all my animals.  First Brenda made me get rid of Smokey, Ace and Tiki {and Oreo, the bunny!} and I'd already left Tobi and Tucker when I moved to Ohio, I had to give up Luke when I moved back to Florida, and then Tucker too.  Tucker hadn't even seen me since (I think) August and the last time I see him, I put him to sleep.  I really really miss my Tucker.  I hope he knows how much I really love him.

Love,
Star