12:44pm
It always takes me like 2-3 days to finish writing a story, and I am pretty sure it is the way I write. Sometimes there is a lot to write but most of the time, especially if something big happened, it takes a few days to fully process everything.
My parents found Kendra after a long while of things not working out with other people. When I had left for Florida, I had no idea how it was going to be. I really thought we'd have a place to live in a week or so but it took a couple months and by that time everybody was sick of me. I managed to offend Jessica because she was high, John's sister Lou already hated me cuz I took one of her waters and we had brought a bunch of shit we didn't even need. Sometimes I wish I had done things a lot differently. But at the time I had almost no connections up here. I was so ready for a new adventure and new friends. Out of all of Brian's friends, though, I think everyone got sick of me early on. Or they just blindly accepted me because of Brian. I guess they thought I'd be a trainwreck just like him but when they met me they had a completely different view. Especially when I couldn't be talked into anything or if I got mad or upset at some fucked up thing one of his friends did. He was always seeking approval from these people but most of them didn't give a fuck anyway and I could see that right away. Take Nathan for example. The first week he's staying with us he's trying to hook up with Ryan's ex, on OUR patio. Yet for some reason he's still Brian's best friend, even though he stole a girl right out from under Brian's nose. The people he is friends with are a group of the most selfish and twofaced people I have ever met, and he just kisses everyone's ass. When he was living with us (in Chicago), he kissed my ass way more than he needed to. But after Joe died right after we got there and then Drew stopped talking to him because of me and then Earnest, I think he started getting resentful. He of course knew how I felt but after a while I stopped talking because... what's the point?
When things broke up down there, Kendra had been working for my family for a year or so (I think she started in... 06? Maybe 07). I got that Help @ Home job and then she got pregnant. She had the baby a week after I found those pictures of Erin and Brian on her myspace. It was the last I had heard from her until the next August when she had his first birthday party. She and Johnny weren't even speaking by then, but I guess she felt that she had to stay. It was like what I did with Brian on a much larger scale. I once saw this post secret that said: "my kids turn 18 in 263 days. This is my countdown." Or something like that. I'd have to find it. But I commented on it and said, "I graduate from school in ____ days. That's my countdown." And this was at least 6-8 months before the really bad shit happened. And then sure enough, right after my last final I spent the night with Ryan and the weekend had to have been the worst weekend of my life. Monday was my last day of work. I just left work, called my mom, packed, and left. I have literally not cried so much in my life. It's no wonder I stopped crying for over a month. I was just out of tears.
But as bad as that was, I can't even imagine what Kendra went through. I had witnessed her coming to work with black eyes that she blamed on the dogs.
I'm thankful that she finally had the strength to leave that asshole she was with, Johnny. She says that it is definitely over because of the order of protection and all of that. See? It is possible to get away from abuse. You proved that when you left and now she finally proved that by finally leaving. It takes a strength that people don't even know they had to leave an abusive relationship. Men who think that women are the weaker sex has literally never sat down and listened to her story. Women could rule the world if we all learned to work together.
At any rate, I'm so glad she called me. Her ex probably doesn't even remember where we lived and would never think to look over here. I felt like she was completely finished with him and that's primarily why I helped. I took her to the police station and the guy at the front desk eventually decided that he should be arrested. Her ex is in custody now here in Elgin and his bond is now $1,000. Dunno where hes gonna get that money.
Wow, this truly is a year for new beginnings. 2011 FTW! I'm hoping that soon I'm gonna be able to get my studying back on track. Now that I know there's another, less expensive and more practical test I can take, I'm confident in studying for it. And plus now that I'm finally paying my student loans back, I feel less like a fraud. I know I'm not a fraud but it felt weird studying online when I had gone to school and graduated and was unable to pay my student loans after 2 years. If I had known about this website before, who knows if I would have gone back to school? And then I probably would have left Florida a lot sooner. But, who knows what the right thing to do was? What happened, happened and I can't take it back.
Love,
Me
3:21pm
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