Good afternoon m'lady!
How are you? So far I'm good. Erica and I woke up about 9 and left around 10:15am. We went and got her check cashed, went to get oil so Rory could change her oil (she was bad and waited 9,000 miles to change it!) Then we got gas and smokes, and then she got her nails done and my eyebrows waxed (finally!) Now I'm drinkin a Dunkin' D's decalf iced coffee light and sweet w/caramel. (Erica got me hooked) while Rory finishes changing her oil and then I am going up to talk to the South University people! Oh, I guess we're going. More soon! --
10/22/11
Happy Saturday I guess. It's been so beautiful--my favorite time of year. Anyway so, I went to South University and talked to them. It sounds great and I think I'd really love it. I was supposed to go back this week to apply and take an entrance exam. However, when I tried to talk to my father about it all, it didn't go very well. In fact, I ended up crying -- a lot. Basically, he thinks it's ridiculous for me to go back to school because I haven't gotten a job doing what I went to school for before.
{you know what I think is ridiculous? a man in his 70s thinking that the world is the same as it was in the 50s. it's not just you who can't get a job in the field that you went to school for, it's basically everyone. and if he was so concerned about it then he should have been doing more to ensure that you had your license already. I'm not saying it's completely his fault that you don't have your license yet but he treats you like you're 5 most of the time so I'm sure he contributes to the fact that you don't have everything that you need. granted, you didn't even want to drive until recent years but still... I hate it when people just say everything that's wrong with a person and fail to take responsibility for their own part of it. it's stupid and I'll say it again... you're not the only one who can't find a job in the field you went to school for. people with years and years of college degrees can't find work in the field that they owe more than $40,000 in student loans in thanks to years of presidents who could give two shits about education (aka... republicans). end rant}
He's tired of his 30 year old children living with him and he has to foot the bill for everything. Of course I understand his feelings on everything. If i was in his shoes, I'd be pissed too. but I've been to school twice now, and can't find a job doing either thing. The thing about medical assistance is that I'm limited to that. In criminal justice, the field is so broad. I can't even get a job doing anything other than what I went to school for and my dad basically said I fucked up at Sears and it would follow me for the rest of my life, that he's never not worked, I was also told that he blames me for the mistake I made and I'm stupid. I said (at some point, not necessarily right then) that I may as well kill myself then because he was telling me my Sears mistake would follow me forever and I'd never amount to anything. All that because i want to go get a bachelor's degree and probably a Master's later, and CAP certification. There's so many things, AMAZING things I can do and as always there's someone sitting there saying "No, Chelsea, you can't." People wonder why I have such low self-esteem and it's like, duh my whole famlily has zero faith in me, they treat me like I'm so stupid because yes, I made some stupid mistakes. I'm so sick of what happened at Sears being thrown in my face. It was an $80.00 ring, not an intentional theft, and I've paid so much for it. I just feel so stuck right now. But I'm trying to hear what God is telling me. I prayed for His will to be done so maybe He's telling me there's a different plan for me. The thing is, I just want them to have faith in me and give me a chance for once. I have so little of it in myself because no one in my family has shown me that they truly and completely believe in me. I know you do, Erica does, and many others, but why not my family? I didn't choose this life, you know? It was preconceived by God. Sometimes, I just really wish I was home in heaven with him, Reets. I really do. =(.
So, last night Erica and I went to Skeeters and it was very quiet. (brb, going to a movie.) No one was there at all--not even Ryan. I was so sick though. My head pounded and my stomach hurt, and it made me so damn tired. Colie (Tom's girl) gave me Ibuprofin and eventually I felt better. I think it was a stress headache from crying over my heated discussion with my dad. I'm coughing a lot/bad too though and worried I may have pneumonia. I can barely breathe, my chest burns and rattles and I feel like shit. It could be bronchitis I guess. So anyway, after Skeeters we went to Majors and had a lot of fun there. It was a good night all in all. :). So, today, Erica and I mainly just hung out. We went and saw Footloose the remake and it was very good. Julianne Hough is in it and I really like her. I think the original Ariel is in it too but I could be wrong. Now we're about to eat and go to the Old Key Lime for some drinks and then Shea's for Tom's show. So I think it will be a good night. Austin's coming so :). He's a good guy. I'm glad we stayed friends.
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