7:54pm
Hey Chels,
Wow I was upset when I wrote that. I guess I'm not ready to hear what he has to say.
Well, today did not turn out the way I expected it to, but neither did yesterday. While I was out with my uncle for dinner I got a text from Barry. He asked me if I wanted to hang out. I thought about saying "duh!" but I didn't. I said "yes," though, so after I got back home I changed some clothes and went over there. We had a nice visit though, didn't go for a walk or anything but just talked and snuggled. We started watching Dexter but I started falling asleep during the 2nd episode. I asked if I could stay and he said that would be fine so I texted my mom and told her I'd be spending the night at a "friend's" house (I haven't told them about him yet). She said okay so I got to stay over. He was just exhausted from the week so he just passed right out. I thought I'd be too distracted to sleep but I just thought to myself, "Barry is right over there. If you reach out you can touch him." and I actually fell asleep! Well, as good as could be expected in a strange bed and not having earplugs. I would fall asleep enough to have dreams but whenever he got up it would wake me up. He had to go into work so after we had some donuts (Dunkin) and he took a shower, we both left at the same time.
It was really nice getting to spend some time with him after more than a week of not seeing him at all. I know he likes me but I think his ex messed him up quite a bit. We basically act like we're together but I feel like as open as he is, he is still very guarded. I don't blame him, I am still messed up, too. My ex (Brian) himself doesn't bother me, it's moreso people shoving him at me that I have a problem with. I have a feeling that we'll have a talk about this soon, it's soon for me, too. I just don't want to push him away. It's just hard for me to care about someone, to talk everyday, walk his dog, be intimate, without any type of communication as to what is going on.
Ugh, I feel like I am always writing about this and I'm sorry. I'm trying not to obsess over it but I just want some sort of sign that like, smacks me in the face about what he thinks about all this. I feel like more will be revealed in the spring time.
Alright, I have quite a few emails to read and lots of movies to watch.
Love you!
Me
9:03pm
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