3:51pm
Uuuuuuggggghhhh! So, my period got here, which I guess is good, but I feel so crappy that I can't go to Chicago with Charisse tonight. If it wasn't that far then maybe, but I just don't have the energy to get dressed, drive, go downtown for however long, then drive home at whatever time. I'm sorry but this just can't happen. I'm also really cranky and exhausted. So I just said we'll have a girl's night to make up for it.
What equally sucks is that I was going to spend Sunday with Barry and now I can't because for one my mom is working tomorrow and I have to be home to feed my dad and for two I do not want him to see me like this. I know he wouldn't care, but I do. I'm always in pain and my face turns this really gross gray color and my eyes get all purple and everything makes me cry/whine/yell. Yeah. No.
It's funny cuz yesterday I was so happy that I got to see Barry. It was a full moon and I tried writing a poem but it came out all sappy and that's not what I wanted to write about. When I was looking at the moon I could hear the melted ice in the creek (it makes this really cool rushing sound when it's overflowing) and the wind was still kind of warm and blowing in the trees. I wanted so badly to write about it, but I just couldn't. I lacked direction. But I think when I feel better I'm gonna try again.
I can't believe it's almost March already. I hope I finally get to pay for my Massageprep.com soon so I can continue studying. I need to get back into it and I am going to do the best that I can. I do need to organize my notes a little bit but that shouldn't take too long. Ooh and I saw this new binder/notebook when I was at CVS. This year is my year! I am taking control of my life and that includes finishing up studying/paying better attention to my financial situation and being as healthy as I possibly can AND following my heart when it comes to love.
Alright, a little bit more of Degrassi, then a much needed nap.
<3,
Me
4:16pm
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11:36pm
Hey Chels,
Well, I never really got my nap in. I just could not fall asleep. I'm not sure how tonight will go but I'm gonna take some Valarian root after I'm done writing in here. Man, if I had been feeling better I totally would have gone to the craft store to get some nbs but as it is I feel like complete crap. But, tonight is a good night to pray.
Dear God,
Thank you for this past week and the small peek of springtime. Tonight I have quite a bit weighing on my heart and I need to get it out. First, please be with my friend, Sarah, and her family. She is trusting in you to do what is in your will, but there needs to be an answer. Whatever was in the birthparents' hearts when they picked Sarah and Jeff as the adoptive parents didn't just fall out of the sky. Giving up a child at any age is a very difficult and personal choice, but they chose to give the baby up. They chose Sarah and Jeff. Please remind them of why they chose, and help them with their final decision so miss Naomi Danielle can finally have a real family with real parents, either the birth parents or adoptive. What's best for the baby is to be with whoever she is better suited for, and I know you know who that is. Whatever the answer will be, we all can handle it. Just let us all know!
Second, please be with Miss Chelsea's kitty, Leila. She has some health issues that aren't getting any better and she needs some help.
In Jesus name,
Amen
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Ugh. It's almost midnight. I need to curl up and read my book for a bit before finally getting some sleep. I love you and I'm so glad that you got the nb and nothing was broken. And thank you for calling me! Man, I am loving this blue pen. Gotta get some more but I'm unsure of whence they came. Lol. I am trying to figure out how to add stuff in here without making it all huge and bulky. I wanted to stick stuff in the pockets of the opening of this thing but I have no idea how it's gonna work. I still have the boxes I never used before, which I think I'm going to now. I love saving stuff, although the receipts and whatnot seem to have less value to me now than they once did. I need to bring that back.
Love,
Me
12:02am
2/20/2011
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