9/17/11 and 9/19/11

9/17/11

Hey.  Happy Saturday!  I have a lot to explain from last night.  But first--I cut my hair.  It looks good.  It's short, but nice.  I hope I can keep up with it.  So, in short summary, Ryan's going back to NY tomorrow.  That's all I'm at liberty to say.  His dad is making him leave because Ryan's not doing as good as he hoped or whatever and I was able to talk Ryan through things while he was upset last night.  (Which also, his sister helped too and helped him come to a decision that was good.)  Things changed a little between us last night---

9/19/11

*Sigh* I'm sorry.  I have been in such a depression I just haven't written.  I'm so sick of not working!  I just want someone to hire me.  I don't care who anymore.  I can't get my printer to work so I can't even print my damn resume out.  I have no health insurance, I need my meds, my glasses are gone so I can't go get my license, and EVERYONE is leaving me!!  Now I'm tired.  Nap time.
Ok, sorry for that.  I took a 1 1/2 hour nap and feel so much better.  I'm just so exhausted from everything, you know?  So, I'm gonna tell you everything then see if I can fix my printer and put the story in here and finish it that way!

Let me briefly tell you about Erica.  Then Ryan.  Ok, so Erica basically has decided she only wants me to talk to Rich when SHE wants me to.  She goes through my text messages and makes me explain everything.  She told Jess I lied to her because I told her I would stop talking to Rich and I didn't.  But I always tell her what's being said, and I hate ignoring people who don't deserve to be ignored.  So when he texts me and I don't answer.... you know?  I know I can't be totally upset because I HAVE been a bad friend by sleeping with Rich.  But you know, I can't keep up with her.  It's so exhausting and I just feel like crying and screaming all the time.  I am like, the soundboard for all my friends.  It can be ok, but when it's everyone else's shit plus my own, it's just so much.  Alright, I'm gonna go do this seminar thing and then come and write about Ryan.