February 26th, 2011

February 26th, 2011
11:10am
Hey Chels,
What do you think of the artwork here and here?  I'm not sure what the one on top of this page is, looks kind of like an owl with his tongue sticking out.

I am so tired right now it's not even funny.  I got to see Barry last night.  We both had a rough week this week so it was nice to see him.  I feel kind of stupid, I missed another chance to ask him about "us".  we were talking about our last relationships and I could have brought it up or at least ask what he wanted from me.  If the subject comes up again (which I'm sure it will), I'm just going to have to say something.  Mainly, I just want to know where he's at and I am pretty sure I have every right to ask I mean we've been sleeping together for a while now and whatnot.  Basically... I chickened out.  See?  Even I do that sometimes.  I wish I could go back to sleep.  I'm fucking tired!

Love,
Me

11:32am

Okay so I'm not really writing in here, but I wanted to write this down before I forget it.  I want to make a sort of timeline of our friendship, basically recapping how it started and all the key moments that we shared with each other.
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5:11pm

Hey Chels,
 Ugh I'm still buggin' over this Brian thing.  It's just... he didn't just hurt me.  He hurt my entire family.  He did a lot of things that hurt me.  I'm fully aware of the situation and how things went down.  We both made mistakes.  But I had to make my closure.  Life's not about closure.  Things happen and either you make it or you don't.  I let a lot of bad things happen and I allowed him to treat me like crap.  What could he say that could possibly make things better?  "I'm sorry?"  And then what?  Stupid ass Kristie.  She has a big fucking mouth and she really needs to learn how to fucking close it.  That shit was none of his business.  I don't want him anywhere near my life.  Even if I get married and have babies.  He doesn't get to know any of that. Man, no wonder why I'm so jaded.  I have 2 exboyfriends who I physically can't talk to because they want to rehash the past and act like they didn't rip my heart out, and one ex who I will probably never hear from again.  I'm not sure what the future holds for me but I don't want my life to be this way.  I'm sick of this, I just want to be happy and if future relationships don't work out, I don't want it to be this horrible.

I kind of expected this to happen, I'm just sorry you had to deal with it.  And after how he treated you while he and I were together, it just seems wrong for him to try and weasel information out of you.

I DON'T WANT TO BE HIS "FRIEND".  ugh.  Just fuck off, dude.

I'm done.

5:35pm