4/1/11

4/1/11

I weighed myself today.  I am 189 lbs.  I will weigh myself everyday just to see where I'm at.  I can add brown rice to my food change so I'm kind of thrilled!  LOL I don't even like rice but I know I'll appreciate having more than salad, veggies, and hummus.  Heh.  Alright I guess I should write about Linda before anything else happens.  So she had me shuffle cards while saying my full name and concentrating on whatever I wanted to know.  When I felt ready to move on, I was to pause and then shuffle again with concentrating on my next question.  when I was finished I had to divide the cards in 3 piles with my left hand.  She started by telling me that I am a very intuitive person and asked if I had visions.  I told her no to the visions (but realized later I was wrong) but that I did attract spirits.  so we talked about that for a while.  I told her how they'd keep me awake at night so I told them I needed them to be quiet.  She told me I needed to protect myself properly and to remember that I was the one in control.  I had to explain how I really considered these spirits my friends, how I had been protected before by them and it was just that laughing and talking kept me awake.  I told her that I thought maybe they'd just vacated completely and she said I could always ask them to come back and I told her how sometimes I've been hearing lullaby music.  It's really soft though and it's almost as if maybe my bedroom was once a nursery.  I might look into that.  (it might be my next project in here -- researching my house/neighborhood).  Linda then went on with our session and asked about a firey man in my life, immediately after, before I could respond, she asked if I had one brother or two.  It was so cool.  She asked how living with my dad was, and told me she sensed I wanted to move out.  She said now was not a good moving out time but September would be the best.  She asked if my grandpa lived in a different state cuz he seemed "very far away" and I told her he had died in 1994.  He wasn't my biological grandfather but back then, he was all I had and I was very close to him.  She told me that he was very peaceful and calm and laid back, which is all very true.  Still, she was very confused about why he felt so close, or rather why she was getting something from him, if he had died so long ago.  Then, she asked if my grandma was alright, I said that as far as I knew she was, but I hadn't seen her since Thanksgiving.  She told me that my Grandma has many years left but that I needed to go see her and that's what my grampa wanted.  She asked where my mom was because she felt that she was "void" in my life.  And I explained that whole situation.  She told me that my mother loved me very much, but she just didn't know how to show me.  It was so overwhelming to hear someone say.  Oh, and then we got into my relationship stuff.  She told me my last relationship was full of lies and deception and he lied by omission a LOT (DUH.)  She told me I don't need a relationship right now, that it's time to focus on me and I should have some frivolous girl fun, but beware of pregnancy.  In other words, friends with benefits.  (but to be perfectly honest, I'm done with that too).  She told me I had a lot of grieving to do that I hadn't done yet.  She said this year was going to be the end of a chapter for me and next year good things will really start turning up for me.  She said I have "clown syndrome" which is like, you laugh on the inside but you're dead on the inside.  She told me to let myself grieve and then start believing in my smile/laugh.  I don't really know how to grieve though.  I mean, I cried until I could cry no more and then I just moved on. So what, how do I bring it all back up and grieve properly?  Linda says that what she does is close her eyes and imagine herself telling whoever she needs, how she feels, how they hurt her, etc etc.  I guess it's worth a shot.  After all that, she just takes one look at me and tells me I'm a creative person, that I have a novel to finish (the one I've wanted to write since i was 15. Probably ours too).  She also said I belong in the Arts and Entertainment and it's time to "get my ass in gear" lmao.  So.  I'm excited about all that.  The last part was her asking about my health because she was getting a feeling through her left breast and her throat.  I explained the tumor in my stomach (well, the possibility of one) and she said it was more of an acid reflux (which I do have!) thing.  She said she's not getting anything about a tumor or anything, but she thinks that I should do a liver and colon detox and see if it helps.  And so my love, that is how this whole thing started.  And that is all about my visit to the psychic.

Love,
Star