Friday, June 13, 2014

November 20th, 2010

November 20th, 2010
10:19pm
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Hey Chels!
So… I’m not really sure if I’m feeling the whole Twilight poems thing anymore.  I’m still going to fill it up with Twilight stuff, though. It just won’t be all mine.  Or maybe I’ll try stories or something.  I shall think of something.  So… right now you’re at your party.  I am wondering if Erin is there and if she is behaving herself.
I don’t really care one way or another if she’s in your life.  I just want you to be happy.  I’ve seen you go from this sort of crazy, angry, and very scarred girl who just wanted to get the hell out of her house and start over.  You followed David to his life and it took 2 ½ years to break you.  When you got home, you had PTSD really badly.  I think that all the problems you had in Ohio followed you all the way back to Florida and everything came crashing down.  I think I could have acted perfectly and it still would have ended the way it did.  But… this year you have changed a lot.  Not really “changed” so much as you are more positive now and you tend to see the big picture more now than you did before.  I feel like I’m less condescending towards you as well because we’re finally on the same page.
Everyone who know you and Erin as best friends (and not me, sadface), just know the Chelsea of “now”.  They don’t know nor understand how you got this way.
I am the way I am now because of almost losing my dad.I’ve learned to put things in perspective and not get mad/upset over stuff that I can’t control.  And I’ve stopped trying to “fix” people.
So… I think change can be a good thing.  Unless you’re like some of the people I’ve been friends with and you want to act like we were never close.
I haven’t heard from Jenne (one of the twins) since that whole YouTube incident and I think it’s a testament to her character that only 4 people (besides me) showed up to that party she threw last year (out of 13).  Oh, and 1 of those people was her cousin.  But she wants to act like we weren’t best friends for 4 years until she and her sister both dropped me.  I dunno… I just think that’s really low.
So, I hope you find time to write in the nb soon! I know that this might sound selfish, but I don’t want to miss anything.
Ugh I am so tired.  And I still have so much to work on.

<3,
me

11:37pm
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A poem I wrote right before landing in Chicago on 11/16/10
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Cars move slowly through traffic
like tiny strings of Christmas lights
following in their formations
red, green, orange, white
lights blinking like twinkling
stars on the ground
headlights finding their way
through the darkness
tiny cars play dangerously
with each other
everything seems so insignificant
from up here.
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Book Club
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Book Title: Goddess of the Sea
Author: P.C. Cast

I absolutely loved this book.  I wasn’t sure what I was going to think of it when I first picked it up but I was instantly hooked.  I could see the similarities between this story and The Little Mermaid, except she had time to figure out what she really wanted before making the choice to stay human or mermaid.
I loved the fact that the woman, who was sort of insecure and mousy at the beginning, had no problems staying true to her kind nature while occupying a princess’s body.  She didn’t let her outward appearance change how she treated anyone.
It made me want to jump in the ocean, grow a tail, and live as a mermaid.  I wanted to surround myself in the magic of that world.  I felt like I could be happy like that forever.

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