6:27pm
Happy 1 year anniversary of Eclipse day! Lol. Ugh. I had a stupid dream about Ryan. He and I were in his apartment and he was naked. I went into his bathroom and there was this door so I opened it and there was someone's blue eyeshadow. I took it off the shelf and when I climbed down he was right there. In real life he has a medicine cabinet but not a linen closet, in my dream the closet was big enough for me to crawl into.
So, what are you up to today? Me, nothing much. Hoping to get your letter soon. I am trying to finish up some notebooks but it is a tedius job. Even listening to music hasn't inspired me to finish so I think this might take a while. But I'd really like to be done soon so I can put everything away. I haven't studied since last week so I think starting Tuesday I have to make a schedule. I'm gonna use this Massagenerd.com until I can get the practice tests from massage prep.com and then after that save up money to pay for this MBLEx test. So I'm not sure how long that will take but I am going to show that I've been studying. I think I need another nb and binder and maybe page protectors? I dunno yet. A part of me just wants to take the test tomorrow.
I decided not to write Ryan a note. I saw all those messages I had written on face book that he never answered, this would just be one more. And I dunno, where would I start? I don't really want to know why, I already know. I don't want to know how he's doing. I don't care. I don't want to know if he's seeing anyone else, I can't warn her. I guess my biggest issue is just being disappointed that we weren't really friends because if we were we'd at least still be friendly. He was there for me when I didn't have anyone and it all amounts to nothing.
Ugh. I'm gonna take a break from writing/working on stuff and just relax. I feel like shit run over twice.
Love,
Me
6:47pm
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