January 19th, 2008

January 19th, 2008
5:53pm

Hey sweets,
I was having this dream that I was giving birth.  The baby was coming out of me and Brian woke me up.  The meanie!  Well, I am getting ready for my ritual on Friday.  I can already see what kind of pictures I want and what I want to do.  In order to do a ritual you have to be prepared for it so you are in the right frame of heart and mind.  I feel more ready than ever and I'm honored that you would do this with me.  I still have some stuff to cut out for the pics I'm putting in here but other than that I just feel ready.  I know in my heart that it's the right time for this to happen.

I'm sorry Traci is pregnant again.  I wonder if your family would treat this baby differently if it was a girl.  But mostly I can see Riley flipping out because he's not the baby.  The sad thing is... I was actually waiting for this to happen.

Man... I dunno what is wrong with me.  I wanted to have sex with Brian but I guess "she" had other plans.  Plus my boobs hurt and I've been sick so I'm not exactly going to be in the mood.  I'll Brb.  Awww man someone's in the bathroom.  I GOTTA GO!  I am actually looking forward to going to work tonight. I don't know why exactly--I don't even care if I'm in the paddock.  I'm just tired of not working I guess.

Dear God,
Please be with Chelsea and me this week and protect us as we prepare for the ritual's happening on Friday.  You have already done so much to prepare me for the road to healing and I pray that this ritual can be a positive step in the healing direction.  I want to thank you for blessing my life and for teaching me everything that you can.  I trust in You completely to guide my way through this journey.
Also... if you think the time is right, please send a child to Chelsea.  I hope it's Winter.  But I know she would be a great mom either way.

In Jesus' name,
Amen

Okay sweets... I gotta get ready soon.  I can't wait for Friday.  I think Tuesday I'm gonna go back to the New Age store and get some color bath and a purple candle.  Once we do the ritual, we can't blow it out ourselves it has to go out by itself.  So just keep it somewhere safe.  It will prolly only take a few hours anyway.  I want to go to Solid Sounds early enough that we don't run into a bunch of traffic.

Alright, I'm gonna go for now.  Bye!

6:25pm