June 30th, 2012

June 30th, 2012
7:23pm

Hey Sweets,
Well... so far the verdict is that my eyes are somewhat getting better, the benadryl is making me really tired and loopy, and the prednisone is making me really crazy, so I think I'm gonna cut it down to once a day isntead of twice because I can't take all the peeing!  Ugh I just hope this shit goes away soon because I can't take all this eye itchiness.
Also, I had to miss my nephew's pool party today :(.  I just don't trust myself to drive yet.

So... I am still wigging out about this whole Stephanie getting married thing.  What pisses me off the most is that if we were really friends, I wouldn't have been the last to know that she was getting married.  And like, I WAS a good friend to her this year.  I was there through all the shit with Barry, I was there for her through crazy Memorial Day weekend, and for the few weeks when she couldn't make up her mind and finally KC broke up with HER. And now all of a sudden, after knowing Matt for 7 years and having reservations about even dating him because he is basically an alcoholic manchild, after 3 weeks of not drinking not only is she giving him another chance, she's MARRYING him.  In 2 days.  And I'm really the ONLY one who thinks that's crazy?  I'm sorry but no.  I feel manipulated by her, and bigtime.  I felt really bad about her family situation and dealing with bf drama, but I have NO respect for someone who makes such a huge fucking deal out of not liking someone to marrying that person less than 2 months of all this shit going down.  I can't just sit there and let myself be manipulated into feeling whichever way SHE wants me to feel then turn around and watch her go down this road.  It would be like if Barry got out of jail and I took him back.  If like... Stephanie had let some time pass and Matt really was stepping up and she started coming around on texting me good stuff about him and I saw him treating her right, of course I'd be more than happy for her.  But none of that shit ever happened.  And there's nothing to "talk over" because she's not in the mindset to hear anything I have to say because she already made her choice.  So... I guess that's pretty much everyone from Barry's life and I can started the 2nd half of the year on a happier page.

Btw... I apologize in advance if I go a little crazy in here, I don't really feel like there's any other place I can go to.  I mean, I can unload on some people but I don't really want to do that.  So I'm gonna use this place to process all my shit and hopefully feel a little better.

I feel really sad, too.  I didn't want to say goodbye to Stephanie but I feel like I have to.  I can't listen to her gush about Matt when we both saw how much of a douchebag he was, and NO ONE changes THAT fast.  And if she ever had a problem with him, she wouldn't come to me because I don't want to hear about it.  So... the next time I pay my bill, I'm going to have to change my phone number as well to REALLY say goodbye to that whole part of my life.  It's sad but... oh well.  I've gotten through a lot worse this year, I can do without a whole bunch of douchebags texting me and harrassing me.

<3,
me

7:53pm