1:09am
Hey Chels,
Well, I'm not really sure how much time I have because my battery is all low but I will try to write as much as I can. So, my aunt ultimately never ended up coming to see my dad because he didn't want her to. He was just so sick he didn't want to get her sick. So... He ended up coming home today which was great but I got my period and now I feel like crap. Normally it's not too bad on the first day but I really feel like I'm in full swing already. Not sure what that's about but oh well.
So, I'm going to have to take my dad to lots of doctor visits in the next few weeks. I do know that my mom and I will in fact be doing our Christmas cookies this year and I think we are going to change it up. So... Aside from that and working on your present, I hope I can find some time to study and do my tarot cards. I am on cups now and want to finish those by next Wednesday. I just dunno where I'm going to find the time or the energy. But I have to clean my turtle tank soon because it's a mess. I have to stop half-ass cleaning his tank. Meh.
So, I'm so sorry about your baby Zorro. I hate to even say this but that's why I get so flipping pissed off at my neighbor who lets her cats out all day and lets them just roam everywhere. I know that there's a difference between inside and outside cats and that cats are different than dogs but when you make the decision to let them be outside cats, there's always going to be a risk that they will get hit by a car or something like that. I say all of this out of love. I know you loved that cat. But you know, at least he died quickly. And at least he had you to take care of him for so long. I know how you love animals.
Ugh, this period is making me so uncomfortable!!! I wish I could just sleep for 3 days and not deal with it at all. But I'm really glad that I don't have to go to the hospital anymore. At least... I hope not. I was scared of him going back in and he did, and then I predicted he was coming home Wednesday and he did. I'm not sure if he's going back in but you best believe I'm going to be watching him like a hawk for a while.
I was going through my nb from last year and it's just so... Sad. You can tell where I was starting to lose it, the best relationship I had ever been in was crumbling before my eyes and I could see us drifting apart and spending less time together and I had no idea why. I feel like between his obsession with Sarah and his probation at the very beginning of last year, I got a different guy completely. I thought for sure that he was this great guy and I was always waiting for him to love me and I don't think that ever really happened. He was up Sarah's ass for 4 months and he was never that way with me. But in the end I know I did the right thing by walking away completely. It is just so strange to go back and read about all the crazy and when you read it you'll be like, "wow she really had no idea." I was trying to hold it all together. I thought that if I just shut my mouth everything would be fine. But it just kept getting worse. And he was okay with not seeing me. Because his addiction came first before anything. Including the only normal girl who had ever given him her heart. It just breaks my heart to read about that girl. To know what she's about to go through. But the ending is happy!!
Alright, I'm gonna go for now. I love you and I can't wait to see what this month brings. I'm praying that I get as much as I can done by the new year because that's when I want to start my new notebook and get that one sent off to you. It's already typed, that's the beauty of it. It'd be funny if I printed out the whole book so I wouldn't have to spend months writing it, but then you'd miss my handwriting and I want to go slow so I can finish my books.
Love you,
Rita
1:34am
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