12:55am
Hey Chels,
So, guess who texted me. And for the first time ever, I did not text back. I am so proud of myself. Apparently, he still hasn't gotten his stuff. You know, if he hadn't of been such a huge douchebag, I would have just gotten him the comics. But something I realized is that he won't just get them himself because if he did then he'd have no reason to talk to me. If he keeps nagging me about it, then he can be as big of an asshole as he wants to be because I will let him. Well, you know what? In life we misplace things. We lose things and we have to deal with those losses and move on with our lives. I lost a lot more than 2 comic books. I lost my great grandmother's engagement ring. So... Deal with it.
See, and if he had been nice to me, I would have been much more helpful in getting his stuff back to him. But he doesn't want to be civil. He wants to have a reason to talk to me. He seriously needs to grow the fuck up. Damn you new phone with no blacklist feature!
So, I saw this picture of Stephanie with Matt yesterday and for some reason it pissed me off. I finally figured out what exactly pissed me off about this whole thing. It wasn't so much the fact that she got married because that doesn't effect me at all. What pissed me off is what I did witness and was dragged into, and then was made to feel so bad for her, then she turns around and does this. If she was gonna marry him anyway she shouldn't have made such a huge deal out of everything else. Kinda freaking stupid if you ask me. If she wants to be crazy and make really stupid life choices I don't need to be dragged into it. So... Even if I wanted to say something to her, I'm not really sure if I would even want to open up that door again. What would I even say?
Hey Stephanie,
I'm really sorry about what happened this summer. I was really mad at you for marrying Matt because of Memorial day weekend. And then you didn't seem that concerned about anyone else's feelings besides your own. I'm not writing this to attack you, I'm just saying that's how it seemed. I'm not mad that you got married. After everything we had been through this year, it would have been nice to be included. Or at least invited. I just don't get how someone can go from being the way he's been for 7 years and then suddenly be perfect. But you don't have to explain it to me.
Honestly, I'm not even sure what I'm trying to say here. I don't even think I want anything from you. I would love to talk again because I miss you but I'm not even sure how that would work.
Ugh... Seems freaking pointless at this point. I don't even think it would be her talking to me, it would be that crazy girl who couldn't get out of Matt's ass on memorial day. And yes she did change completely from the down to earth person that I had been talking to for months prior to that. Maybe I'll come up with something nicer and see what happens. I'd love to at least attempt to talk to her again because I really do miss her. I'm just scared that it won't actually be her.
I'm gonna attempt to get some sleep for now. Love you!
Rita
1:18am
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November 18th
This dream is kind of weird, but I'm gonna write down as much as I remember. First off I remember being at a Taylor Swift concert. She was right in the middle of everyone and involving her audience with the songs. There wasn't a stage at all just her and a group of people and she'd rock out and then give the mic to someone to sing into. Then the scene changed and I was in this huge like... Convention center or library or something. I saw my friend dani, she was giving my family a tour. She told me about this psychic that I had to go to. I found my mom and begged her to pay because it was $30.00. She took forever but finally handed me 3 tens. Then the psychic started reading her because I handed her only $22 when I thought I was giving her more. So she started reading my mom. So, I walked around a bit and when I came back, Barry and Larry were sitting right next to each other. I don't think they knew who the other one was but there was a line of chairs against a wall and they were sitting next to each other. I just pretended not to know either one of them and walked away. When I came back, Barry was the only one left but he was sound asleep so I kicked his arm from underneath his head and then ran into the bathroom to hide but there was no lock so I kept running until I found an exit. He had woken up and followed me into the bathroom. I found a door that said exit and woke up because I had to pee.
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