Monday, November 24, 2014

September 12th, 2012

 September 12th, 2012
 12:49am

Hey Chels,
 Wow. Today is my parent's 31st wedding anniversary. Holy shit. If my dad never had his stroke... I wonder what life would be like. I love my parents and I'm so proud of them for making it this far but sometimes I wonder if they're really meant for each other. I love my dad but he's always been a little bit of an asshole to my mom and since the stroke, I dunno. Sometimes I think that he needs to watch how he talks to her. Because oh, you can't criticize him for anything because he'll take it wrong and start crying but if my mom isn't perfect he'll yell at her.

I know married people bicker but I really can't stand the way he is sometimes. Like yesterday (Tuesday). I needed to go to the store to pick up some stuff and I wanted to take him with. He was on the computer when I talked to him. So I waited until he ate his breakfast and then said I was ready to go and he said he was tired and needed a nap. Which pissed me off because like... I can't just sit around all day waiting for him to maybe possibly be ready to go with me. So I told him that I'll just go by myself and he was like, "fine!!" and stormed off. I needed him to sign a check and he was crying and I asked if he felt like I yelled at him and he said yes. So I explained why I said what I said and then left. When I got back, he was awake. I guess he felt bad and couldn't sleep because he felt guilty about what happened. Now... I could tell that he was really tired and he probably did need to lay down but yesterday wasn't a day where I could just sit around and wait for him to wake up just so he could tell me that I should just go by myself. So that's why I just went. But he made up for it by coming with me to drop off something at the library.

I love my dad. I do. But he can't act like a baby all the time. It gets on my nerves. And now that he sometimes has issues with his hand shaking, I feel like I can't have much of a social life. Things will be fine for a while up until the day I have plans and then there will be an emergency. Most of the time it's nothing, but I hate that if I'm home everything is fine and if I'm gone the world caves in.

So... I'm gonna change the subject completely. I have been wanting to write about this for a while and dammit, I'm going to now lol. I have been thinking a lot about Florida. I really miss living there. It sucks that we don't live 20 minutes away from each other anymore. To be honest, up until the end, you were the best part about living there. You gave me a place to be if I couldn't take things at home, someone to be creative with, a Starbucks/ruby Tuesday partner, someone to go to the beach with, even take pictures with. You were the one person I was so thankful to have around, and even though our stupidass boyfriends ruined the experience, I think we could have had a kickass time living together. If I had kicked Brian out to begin with and really saved all my money until I got down there, I would have had a completely different experience than the one I had with him. It was still an experience and it's something that will always be a part of me, but I just wanted it to be so much better. But I'm so thankful that I got to live there for the time that I did. I think what I miss the most is just being out on my own and doing my own thing. And driving around, seeing either all the crazy people out on the street or taking in the ocean air. I really miss all the palm trees and being in the sun. And my bunny. I miss mr Mystic Moon all of the time. My heart truly broke when he passed away. He was my teeny tiny bff. And I've never had the heart to get a new one. But... I do have Saorse, the best turtle alive. I feel like such a better mommy now that he has a different filter that isn't so hard to clean and it keeps his water cleaner. And he is just a wonderful little guy. He loves when I sing or talk to him, he loves when I stroke his head and he even doesn't mind being picked up. He loves to run around outside and getting some sun. And he's just a really cool little guy. My little piece of Florida. Mostly though, I miss being that close to the beach. I miss the beach, I miss my job, I even miss school. I just miss who I was down there, the part of me that will always remain that 23-25 year old girl. I fought so much to stay down there because it was my dream for so long, and if I could live there again, I would in a heartbeat. I'm more grounded in this area for now but eventually I would love to own property right by a beach. Maybe when I finally get my license.

 At any rate, I'm not saying that my life right now isn't good. I love being close to my family and the things I've experienced with them. And even though I've gotten my heart broken here, that can happen anywhere. And it's where I grew up. This is my town, these are my streets and my people. I never had the problems up here that I did in Florida because I would never be friends with the people that Brian was friends with. Some of them were cool but the ones he felt closest to all had way too many issues.  And it's weird but I think that Brian might have had a man crush on some of those people. Like he'd bend over for them, literally. I'm not homophobic, but it's just the way he acted was a bit... Unhealthy. And he always criticized my friendship with you. But the people he has in his life are all garbage. I'm sure they all still sit around and talk about how shitty I am and this and that. But the truth is, these people haven't even spoken to me since 2006-2007. So how would they know what really happened?
 
I think that's why I went for Ryan in the beginning. I wasn't ready to let go of Florida yet and he was willing to fly me down. And it was hard to break up with him cuz I would have to break up with Florida as well, at least for that moment. I wish I could come see you as much as I wanted to but I just don't have the money for it right now. My friend kristie is hounding me to come down there and I'm like... Look. I'm broke just like you. So I doubt that I'll make it there any time soon. It's sad for me too but frankly, omg that woman drives me up a freaking wall.
 
Well my dear... This is it. The day I go to my friend Angel's house and then we go to Lothlorien for wild magick. I will not be bringing the nb along but I will be bringing this. So be ready for more crazy stories, lol.
 
Love you,
 Rita
 
1:27am
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Vampire Hybrids
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The biological passing of vampire traits is one of the least common exceptions to normal vampire life.  Out of the thousands of vampires on the planet, there are only five known hybrids in existence, and these five all originated from only two sources.
Male vampires do have the capacity to pass on genetic material with a human female partner.  However, it is beyond the ability of most vampires to be so close to a human physically and still resist the lure of her blood. Also, vampires are so much stronger than humans that any loss of self-control at such close proximity can quickly lead to mortal injury to the human.
Female vampires still carry ova similar to human ova, but the unchanging state of their bodies results in a total absence of a reproductive cycle.  Even if the female vampire could somehow continue this cycle, her frozen body would be unable to grow and change to accommodate a growing and changing fetus.
One hybrid, Renesmee Cullen, was created by accident as the result of a rare romantic bonding between a vampire and a human.  The other four hybrids, Nahuel and his three sisters, were all purposely created as an experiment by a vampire named Joham.
Vampire hybrids have both vampire and human traits.  They are much stronger and faster than humans, with sharper senses, but not as strong, fast, or sharp as a pure vampire.  
They are strong enough, however, that human females are rarely able to survive the gestation period.  The movement of a hybrid fetus causes extreme injury to the more fragile mother.  If the gestation is survived, the birth is not.  The usual method of delivery for a hybrid is for the hybrid to make her own escape from the womb.  The hybrid must utilize her teeth, which have more in common with vampire teeth than human teeth,  to pierce the amniotic sac--a membrane nearly as durable as vampire skin.  This is too traumatic to the human body to be survived.  Only the introduction of vampire venom to the mother's system can heal the injuries incurred; only one mother has ever survived to become a vampire.
Like the amniotic sac, a hybrid's skin is almost as durable as her vampire parent's skin, but it does not have the same prismatic reaction to sunlight.  Hybrids can also have supernatural abilities, though not all do.  Like humans, hybrids have a circulatory system and are warm-blooded.  They can eat solid food, but generally find blood more appealing.  They also sleep.  Their irises come in the usual range of human colors, and do not change in response to diet.  In the first few years of their lives, hybrids grow and change like humans do, though at an extremely accelerated pace.  After roughly seven years, the hybrid reaches physical adulthood and settles into the same unchanging state and conditional immortality that vampires enjoy.  The hybrid mind develops much faster than the physical body; a hybrid has the mental capacity of an adult human by the time of her birth.  Hybrids learn quickly to communicate with their caretakers, picking up their first language mere weeks after birth.  This capacity for physical and mental maturation is what sets the hybrid apart from the immortal child.

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