January 7th, 2013

January 7th, 2013
11:18pm

Hey Chels,
So... Today was a... Day. Lol. James finally found me on okcupid and we talked for a bit but he wanted me to call him and I wouldn't. I feel like enough time has passed for us to be friends but that doesn't mean I have to talk on the phone with him cuz next he'll want to see me. And I know I'm not ready for that. Not because I am afraid of what might happen I am just not ready yet. And he needs to respect that. Everything was fine for like two minutes and then things got weird again. I dunno why we can't just be friends or even talk at all. He had his chance, he blew it, move on already. I mean, I could understand why it would be hard for him to get over me. I was the one girl who said yes to meeting him and we had a great time together and I got along great with his kid, etc. But just remember... He didn't want to be my boyfriend. He said he "didn't know" and then claiming to be joking. Pfffft on him. And he just wanted me to act the way he wanted me to act. Not thinking I might act differently than what he wants. But I'm not a bitch. I'm not rude. I can be polite and civil and say hi. If it were Barry.... Would be a totally different situation.

Anyhow, I got my car fixed and finally said goodbye to the battery Ryan bought for me back in 2009. It was dying. And finally got my headlight fixed!! And then I got some food, studied, took my dad out to get dinner, and here I am.

I have sort of been taking things easy nbs-wise. I try and write in the nb everyday or other day but I think I need to pick days where all I do is write in my books. I feel like that gets neglected. But it could be because I'm just starting out and it doesn't look like anything yet. I think Wednesdays will be my tarot card drawing days :). And Sundays will be my full tarot reading days. I am still doing a daily meditation with my new cards. And I'm reading as much as I can. So I am still doing some stuff. Maybe Tuesdays and Thursdays can be my writing days and I pick if I want it to be notebook or story. I can live with the quiet as long as I do something and make progress.

Alright, I'm gonna get going for now. I love you :).

Rita

11:50pm