December 16th, 2012

December 16th, 2012
1:16am

Hey Chels,
What up!! I'm just laying here waiting for my electric blanket to warm me up.  So far, no good. So... I didn't do anything for the nb today. It was a nice break because I could tell Friday I was going a little nuts. I was really distracted. So... I figured out how I'm going to do this. Monday I'm going to work on NBs and take my dad to the eye doctor. My mom is paying for me and my dad to get our eyes checked. And after that, I will resume NBs. Tuesday I'm going to get up early and deliver cookies to Larry and Geoff. I figure Larry will be at work and I'm pretty sure his mom works so it will be perfect. Honestly I have been seriously thinking about mailing him cookies but that's so dumb cuz then you have to pay for postage and la la la. He lives like 5 minutes away from me. I can drop something off at his doorstep.  I think it would be okay. I like surprises too much I think lol. I still wish I could leave a big box by your door. The only thing I hate is that Beverly makes me send her pictures of stuff that I get her because she hates surprises. But she still hasn't seen the butterfly candle I got her. So ha. Anyway... After Larry's I'm gonna go over to Geoff's house and leave him some cookies too. And then go home and work on NBs some more. Which I hope will bring me to Wednesday. Now... Wednesday I do have Tarot class so I need to make sure I have cookies for everyone from class. Which I'm sure I will. And also I would love to be done with your notebook by wednesday so I can get everything together for you in a big box to send on Thursday. And I think I'm going to end up driving over to Alex's on Thursday to get her her cookies as well.  And also tomorrow I have to finish my Christmas cards. There's not that many people left, just have to get them all ready to be sent out on Monday. So... That's my week. Friday I'm not doing shit, lol.
You know, I also debated asking Larry if he had some free time this week so I could give him his stuff in person but... I dunno. I just feel like a surprise would be better. I know I'm overthinking it and all that. I'm just nervous. I also thought about going to his work, finding his car, and putting the package on the top or something but that would run the risk of someone stealing it or whatever the weather decides to do. I'm just nervous because it's the first gift I've ever given him. I remember telling him about this last year, actually I think it was when he first started talking to me.  I mentioned in the nb how I had heard from him and we talked and he ended up flirting with me. It was right before Christmas so it was probably the day that I had driven and got people their cookies. And we had a conversation about it. And I just felt like with everything that had happened between us and everything he went through, especially in the past week, he could use some cookies too. I'm nervous to go over there too because I don't want anyone to see me. Most people are at work but I dunno his neighborhood, someone could be like a spy or something for all I know. We got them here too that's why I said that. But you know what? It's not like I'm doing anything wrong. I'm surprising a friend with baked goods because he deserves them. Man why don't I have supernatural powers to turn me invisible during times like these? Lol I just thought of something. I could park like a block away and then just walk over and leave them on his doorstep.
Man... Now I sound like a crazy woman, lol. I even just thought of driving in the dead of night so they'll be there in the morning but that's stupid too. I need to just grow a pair and do what I originally wanted. It seems like the obvious choice to go when everyone will be at work and he will come home to a nice surprise and if someone is home then... I can't do anything about that.
Ahh I bet this is cute to you, lol. It's a little annoying to me. I wish I could just have the confidence right off the bat and be like... Drive up to his house, put cookies on the doorstep, drive away. Why do I have to obsess over who will be home and who will see me, etc. It's Christmas, people do this kind of stuff all the time. I'm just... Who the fuck knows, really. I know if I just ask him to come here he won't. Not because he hates me but because of everything else going on. I mean, I could ask him. But then it was stupid of me to ask for his address if I was just going to ask him to come over here so I could give him his stuff. Alright. I'm done whining about this. I'm gonna go over there and drop them off. I'm a big girl, I can handle whatever happens. Alright now that that's finally out of my system, I'm going to attempt to get some sleep.

Love you,
Rita

1:52am.