12:35am
Hey Chels,
Wow. 3 days and then I turn 30!! We have talked about this day for what seems like years. I remember when we would hang out and go swimming and talk about the future and how 30 seemed like so far away. And now it's here for me and in another year it'll be you. I just can't believe how my life turned out. Not only did I not end up marrying Brian, I then went on to dating Ryan Brennan of all people, then a heroin addict, now just broke up with some other guy... It's nuts. I really did think I would be married by now. But I would rather be single than stuck some place I didn't really want to be.
I feel so bad. I haven't really done much of anything in the past couple days. I've tried but Larry has been distracting me lol. But today I'm gonna get it together and focus on my own stuff for a while so I feel like I've accomplished something. I have my class today too and I'm excited because I think we are going out later for my bday and jason's bday. He's another member of the tarot group and his bday is Sunday. So, we shall see.
It's been kind of weird not seeing James, last week I literally saw him every other day. Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday. Tuesdays were normal for us, certain days we would always see each other but sometimes it would change. But I've just been thinking about stuff that really bothered me about him that I never really thought about before. He always talked about his weight. And I never knew what he wanted me to say about it. Same thing with his penis. No matter what I said about it, it wasn't the right thing to say. Half the time I had no idea if he was kidding or serious. At first when we first met he didn't come off that way but as I got to know him he just seemed really needy and insecure. And that bothered me because I always thought about what I could have said but now I realize that he would have had a problem with anything I said. I'm not the kind of girl who can just talk about people's body parts. I don't judge people that way. What I saw from the beginning was someone who made me feel safe and protected and someone who had a great sense of humor and a kind soul. I still believe he is all those things, but he is also a lot of work. I think I was right to back out. He was just too all over the place it was hard to follow his train of thought or what he was serious about or what he was joking about.
I got ur letter today, and I'm not really sure what to say about you and Brian. I mean, I know you love him. But instead of going crazy on him, just realize that if he wanted to be with someone else, he would be with her and not you. And it's not anything he does that's going to break you guys up. It's going to be your own insecurities. I hate to put it that way. But like... You are only stressing yourself out when you stress out about things that you have no idea will happen or not. He may cheat on you, he might not. The world may never know. But if you keep fighting with him, eventually someone is going to find their breaking point.
Listen. I don't want to tell you how to run your life. You're a big girl. I just want you to be happy. And he wouldn't have stayed with you this long if he didn't love you. I don't need tarot cards to see that. But I know it must be hard for you to be in love with someone, when you haven't let yourself really be happy since being with David. But Brian isn't David. Yeah, he's not perfect. But nobody is. The point is, no one really knows what the future holds. All we do know is that our ideas become thoughts that consume us, that become actions that have consequences good and bad. My advice to you would be to attempt to turn around any negative thinking into something positive. Instead of stressing yourself out about what you don't know, start off by saying what you DO know. There's always a risk involved when giving your heart to someone. For me, I didn't want to give it to someone who didn't really want it. I would rather keep it to myself until I can find someone who won't stomp on it. In order to do that, I have to take the first step and let somebody in. If that person is too wishy washy with me, it won't be him. But the beauty is, you have the power to choose. Brian could be it for you forever. Or he could just be another chapter. Stop hanging onto your go-to arguments and only freak out when you are 100% sure that there's something to freak out about. Otherwise, you're wasting precious time and energy on things you just make up inside your head. But also maybe the problem is that there's things about you that you're insecure about and you don't really know what to do. I am gonna do a tarot reading for you soon and see what the cards tell me about your situation. A lot of the questions seemed to pertain to the same subject so... I can combine a lot of them :).
At any rate, I'm gonna pass out soon. I love you and keep your head up! No matter what happens, I love you.
Love,
Rita
1:05am
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Demetri
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name: Demetri
date of birth: around 1000 a.d.
date of transformation: around 1000 a.d.
source of transformation: Amun
place of origin: Greece
hair color: black
eye color: red/black (vampire)
height: 6'3"
physical description: Demetri is tall and lean. his pale skin has a faint olive tone. his wavy, dark hair is shoulder length.
special abilities: he is a skilled tracker. he catches the essance of a person's mind and then follows it like a scent over any distance.
education/occupation: he is a member of the Volturi guard.
family/coven relationships: Guard members show the Volturi the loyalty they would family.
personal history: Demetri was originally discovered by the Egyptian coven's leader, Amun. Amun worked with Demetri to develop his tracking ability, and the two were very close. At the time, the Volturi had a tracker. However, when Aro heard that Amun had a more talented tracker than his own, he hurried to Egypt and offered Demetri a place with the Volturi. Demetri had no interest in leaving Amun, but Aro had Chelsea dissolve the bonds between the members of that coven, and then tie Demetri to the Volturi. Demetri joined them immediately.
Demetri is a permanent member of the guard and a part of all of the Volturi's important missions. Though tracking gifts are more common than any other kind of psychic gift, Demetri is by far the best-known tracker in the vampire world. With the rare exception of strong mental shields, Demetri's gift is unstoppable and allows the Volturi to find anyone, anywhere. Demetri can link to a target once he has physically met that person, or he can pick up a person's trail from anyone who has met them in the past.
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Old man Logan issue 66
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So... I might have read these backwards, because this issue is the beginning. So, the bad super heroes are Bruce banner's grandchildren who have taken over the entire country and make people pay rent for staying there. Logan and his band of x-men were beaten by the avengers long ago and now are no match for them. Although apparently, hawkeye is on logan's side when in the movie the avengers he was one of them. So... Not really sure what that's about but whatever. So anyway, the hulk's grandchildren came by for their rent but he didn't have it so he let them beat him up. So Hawkeye told him that he had to deliver a package cross country and he would pay Logan good money to get him there and back. So now we start on the adventure...
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