October 30th, 2012

October 30th, 2012
2:14am

Hey Chels,
I know it's late but I felt like I had to write. I just got finished watching this Tila Tequila vlog. I have loved her since that show she did on MTV and now she is doing this truth movement thing. She's basically saying what I have been saying for years. That the media is all fucked up and it seems like they take someone and build them up just to break them down. I feel like that's what happened to Brittany Murphy and Heath Ledger, among others. It's like, the people who write those stories in the tabloids. All they do is write the meanest stuff about people and for no apparent reason. It's like the media tells us who to love and who to hate. But we don't actually know any of these people in real life so how can we love or hate them? And it's not just celebrities. It's people with power and you're never quite sure how they got the power or why their opinion is such a big deal. It's because they made a deal with the devil to be famous and that's what happened.

So... Apparently this whole truth thing is that there are other forms of life, the bible isn't the first story ever told of God and Jesus, and the earth is vibrating. That's all I have so far from listening to these vlogs of hers, lol. I do believe some things are a conspiracy theory, like flu shots.  But whatever.

So, I saw Larry again tonight. We only spent about an hour together but it was totally worth it. And we did have sex. It didn't last very long but it was still great. It was just... It was really hard to get a good position and there were times when I felt like I was tearing a little bit, which I probably was. But being with him felt right. I'm trying not to get my hopes up of anything really happening because I've been let down in the past. But we've been talking like every day and I did take 6 months to myself before dating anyone so... Now seems like a better time for the both of us. I just don't want to go too fast again and I want to see if we can hang out some place other than his car or my room, lol. But that's not really as important as I'm happy that I got to see him tonight and that's pretty much all I care about. A part of me wonders if it's kind of slutty behavior to have sex with someone right after a break up, but then again it was probably kind of slutty of me to have sex with someone I just met. I dunno. I mean, if I had sex it was because the moment felt right so... It can't be too slutty if it was because I actually liked the person, right?

Anyways, I need to go for now. I love you!
Rita

2:32am