August 26th, 2012

August 26th, 2012
4:01pm

Hey Chels,
Oops I never finished that entry.  My bad, sorry.  So... I feel pretty shitty right now.  Yesterday I met James and honestly, I have never felt that comfortable with someone that I just met.  He was really cute and nice and took me to get some food and he was asking me what I wanted to do and I had no idea because it was all rainy and crappy out so we went to his house and watched a movie.  And then things just kind of... I dunno.  Like, he asked me if I wanted to date him and I said yes because I would have liked to spend some time with him and see where things went... but we go get some pizza for dinner and he introduces me to his friend as his girlfriend.  And I was just like... ummm wow that was a little fast.  So today I asked him if we could hold off on calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend cuz honestly... it was a bit much for me.  Because in my head, dating meant getting to know someone and seeing if you wanted to be exclusive before going to that level and he just went right for it.  And right now I feel like crying because I have no idea if he even wants to see me anymore.  But I really can't help the way that I feel... it just freaked me out that I'd meet him and we'd hit it off and then all of a sudden I'm his girlfriend all in one day.  I mean... am I the crazy one here??

It just sucks because I really felt a connection with him and when I met him I didn't want to let go of his hand and everything felt right.  But it was just that one part that freaked me out a little bit.  Like it was too much too soon. And of course he can't be understanding of that and just say it's cool, he has to act like a little baby and get mad.  I really didn't want things to end up this way, I was just getting to know him.  But I dunno. There are so many things I have to think about right now.  I could just be saying i'm not ready for a relationship because I don't want to get hurt again.  And I think that's very well justified.  But I don't want to just automatically be in a relationship with someone I just met, either.  I'm just caught between really liking this person and not wanting to get my heart broken again.  But also if he can't understand that and work with me a little bit then I have to move on.  And not get another okcupid.com account for a very long time, if that's something I even want anymore.  It took me a lot to even open my heart up a little bit.  I find this guy that I really connect with and genuinely like and of course he's a little screwy.  There are a couple of people who would love to be with me but I'd rather go in a different direction mainly because I've seen them as friends for way too long to think about anything else.  It's scary opening yourself up after you've been hurt, especially after your last boyfriend was a heroin addict.  I almost wish i didn't have to see him again but I do have to give him his book back :/.  Meh.

Well... I'm gonna lay down for a while and then maybe work for a bit.  I'll write more later.  Love you!

Rita

4:36pm
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~vampire stuff~
Immortal Children:
Sometimes group behavior will bring on a stronger response from the Volturi.  The Southern Wars are one example. Another example would be the outlawing of immortal children.
Immortal children were humans who had been transformed into vampires at a very early age.  There was no absolute age limit set as to what constituted an immortal child; it was a subjective definition, based on the child's ability to behave himself in a way consistent with vampire law.
Like all vampires, immortal children were frozen at the mental and physical age at which they were transformed.  Post-transformation, these small children continued to exhibit childish behaviors, including impulsive acts, tantrums, irresponsible activities, and a general lack of circumspection.  These behaviors were incompatible with the law of secrecy, and immortal children often attracted the notice of humans.
Another aspect of immortal children was their appeal; they were both beautiful and endearing.  Covens were utterly devoted to their immortal children, and would protect them at all costs.
The Volturi found themselves punishing individual covens for the behavior of their immortal children with a much greater frequency than other occurrences of lawlessness.  Because of the devotion inspired by immortal children, the Volturi were forced to destroy full covens in order to destroy an immortal child.  After some study into the matter, the Volturi decreed that immortal children were not capable of following the law, and therefore it was no longer legal to create an immortal child.  Anyone responsible for creating such a child would be destroyed whether that child had broken the law or not.
The Volturi continued to experiment with and study immortal children for centuries, but has never reversed its decision.