Hey Chels!
Sorry, just sort of stopped writing. Well, today is a big day. It's breaking dawn part 2 day!! Man... I never thought this day would come. I looked forward to it but it seemed so far away. And now it's here. I remember as soon as I got out of the movie last year, I started counting down the days to this day. And it's finally here!! I wish upon all wishes that I could see this movie with you. It makes me so sad that I'm not at your place right now watching the movie as I type this. But... We have the next best thing. Which I guess now would be vlogging, lol.
Anyways... Right as I was writing that my mom was bugging me to eat dinner. Then I took a bath and then fucked around on YouTube for a while. And now I'm back. So... I feel like a huge bitch lol. I was getting all crazy again and it turns out Larry has not been feeling well lately. I for one am blaming that damn flu shot because ever since then he's just been running on empty. I guess he took the whole day off today. He told me yesterday that he felt like he was coming down with a sinus infection so it makes sense. And here I am freaking out (or trying not to) that he's "ignoring" me again. Seriously, wtf is wrong with me? I just feel awful for being worried about things again when we just got through things and talked things out. We never made things official, at least not yet, and he's feeling like crap and I'm being insensitive about it. But... He doesn't know any of this because it's the stuff I keep in my head until I write to you about it. I guess I just have my insecurities. I would like nothing more than to have things work out between Larry and I. Not because I just want a boyfriend, but because of how I feel about him and how I feel when I'm around him. It's something special and I want to see where things go before throwing in the towel and just deciding to be friends. But I think that as long as we have the feelings that we have for each other, we can't be "just friends" unless it absolutely can't work out any other way. I may just be niiave or whatever but... Only time will tell. I just hope he will feel better soon because I miss him bugging me throughout the day lol.
At any rate, I really need to wrap this up. I love you and I'm so happy about our new YouTube channel.
1:18am
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8:21pm
Hey Chels,
Wow what a day. First off let me start by saying Happy Breaking Dawn day!!!! I ended up seeing the movie myself. And let me just write about it. I've been reading reviews and a lot of people don't know what to think about it. And I can see that... It was kind of a weird book. Like... Bella could have been blood thirsty but she wasn't, there could have been a fight at the end but there wasn't, and Jacob didn't have to imprint on a newborn. But like... There was still that magical element that I love about Twilight. The main "problems" I had were when Bella was first shown as a vampire. I just pictured things a bit differently, like how she counted everything in her head and how everyone was in the beginning. I thought the way they did it was kind of weird. But as for her control over her thirst, I loved that part. Because she was still Bella and she cared more about being a mother and having vampire sex than blood. I think that's what was different... She already had so many other things on her mind that being bloodthirsty wasn't a main priority. And at the end... Even though the fight was only a vision, it was still great. I mean, I could see why people wouldn't think there was really a twist if the same thing happened in the book and the movie, but the difference was you saw through alice's eyes the outcome of aro's decision. Instead of just reading about a fight. But I'm glad nobody really died. It still stuck to the story. And I hate how everyone is so down on Stephanie Meyer. Could she have written the story differently? Of course she could have. Aro could have demanded they fork over the child. Something else I wish they did more of was show Renesmee's visions. They only did it once. And that's pretty much it. The story as a whole was amazing. I was happy that I saw it. I laughed, I cried, my heart pounded, I cheered when Alice killed Jane. And another thing that bothered me was that Bella was never able to fully project her shield except to protect one person at a time instead of everyone. But I realize that they couldn't show everything and there's probably a lot of extended and deleted scenes in the DVDs. I just can't wait till the movie comes out on DVD, I wish that day was tomorrow lol.
Anyhow, I'm gonna wrap things up for now. I love you and I'm gonna work on editing this stuff. Love you!
Rita
9:27pm
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Ze Marie
The actions of the community at Lothlorien are an exact mirror of what is going on in the outer world. WE are the microcosm of the macrocosm. It is time that we all begin to recognize that we have been given the great task of starting the transformation for the rest of our reality. We are the ones we have been waiting for.
With all that has been said and done in recent months, if the members of this community can find the bridge to forgiveness of each other, if we can let go of the past, if we can find a way to overcome all these shadows brought into light, if we can forgive ourselves for our inner wars and reach out to each other in love and in light, and work to learn how to live in balance in harmony, if we can let go of the past, if we found that place of divine love for each other, we WILL transform the entire world because our light would be strong enough that others could see their way to the same space.
We have all shared our shadows with each other; we can see these shadows in that which creates such angst in interactions with another. These shadows stand in our way and we need to heal them, forgive them. If we can see that our act of forgiving is a necessity for the continuation of all humanity not just our petty egos, and we truly let go of the past, we will be granted access to our grandest dreams.
Long ago in a place distant, we made a vow to come back and find a way to rekindle the light that is needed in this realm, a light that will take humanity to its truest dreams.
In the sacred we would stand, in a circle hand in hand.
We now have the duty to recall this and to begin to envision the Lothlorien we all, each and every one of us, want, crave, MUST have. We need to remember that the way to let it happen is by letting go of your own angst, letting go of the transgressions made against you and embracing those around you for they have reminded you that you still carry shadows that need to be let go of. They have given you the gift of reminding you that you were meant to be a pillar of light
So I ask of all my brothers and sisters, to do one small favor for me (and a huge favor for mankind).
On Saturday morning, the 17th, when you first arise, I want you to sit for a few moments in reverence and dream of the Land as you wish to see it be. There is the birdsong, there are the trees and the sky, and the clouds and the wind all dancing together in harmony, beauty to your eyes and your skin.
The sunlight sparkles through the trees. You hear the laughter and the love in all the beings around you. You smell the scents that fill your soul with pleasure. You recognize that you are home and all is really okay, the only thing that truly matters is feeling connected, at one with yourself and all that was around you. Everything else just melts away, meaningless.
The time is now, the place is here,
In the sacred we DO stand, in a circle hand in hand.
And as Jeff Crum so appropriately wrote with his spelling of words:
My epiphany....
I started hearing the birds Chirping as they were feeding their young..
I heard the wings of the bees as they busily went about collecting their pollen..
As I wiped the last tear from my cheek..
I started to look around and noticed With much joy..
that my trees were still standing and the water still ran across the ground..
It was then that I once again found my peace,
Peace in Realizing that
the love I had found here,
it was still in me.
And in the distance, when you quiet your inner voice, you can hear the singing.
We are beauty and we are darkness.
We are light, and we are change.
And while you are at it, envision your entire life in this way as your perfect blissful existence, that what until now you have only longed for. Let go of anything that stands in the way, and for a moment, if only for a moment, truly truly allow yourself to experience how it would be. And then take a deep breath and go on with your day. The message will have been sent.
All hail Mercury, Messenger of the Gods!
What I wrote:
and then today (11/17/12):
This is what was behind my posting regarding envisioning Lothlorien this morning (and today, it is not too late) as you really desire to see and live it!
From Cayelin Castell
Retrograde Mercury is conjunct the Sun at 7:47 am (PST) (26 Scorpio) and both are conjunct the North Node suggesting what we are thinking about with passion and intensity is magnified and illuminated by the power of the Sun. Plus, it affects our destiny personally and collectively. Again, the magical power of intention is heightened today, so be sure you are focusing your attention on your true heart’s desire. If thoughts of what you don’t want creep in then simply and easily note them and shift your attention to what you DO desire.
The reality we live in is crafted through our expectations, beliefs and thoughts. We often have unconscious expectations that are attracting experiences to us that are not exactly what we desire. That is because the universe reflects to us all that is unconscious and hidden as well as what is conscious. For example, if you have an unconscious belief that you are not worthy or valued then your experiences will reflect that back to you as a way to get you to become more conscious of it.
The co-creation process is affected by what we are requesting (ask and it is given) either consciously or unconsciously, what we are expecting either consciously or unconsciously and what we are accepting either consciously or unconsciously.
Ceremonial magic occurs when we make our request from the place of where we can see it in our mind’s eye and feel it in our being. Even stronger magic can happen when we get our other senses involved and imagine what our desired reality would smell like, taste like and sound like, as well as look like and feel like.
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