1/22/13

1-22-13
11:30am
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Morning.
Well, things look better over here.  I wasn’t wanting to go another night not speaking to my man so I finally sent him a very long text message saying that I thought he needed to understand where I was coming from (BRB gotta call this job I applied for).
So yea, the whole thing with Brian was crazy.  He gets an attitude or gets all pissy and I hate when people get an attitude with me, and when it’s him I just lose my temper over it--which I will have to work on letting it just roll of my back instead, but he just needs to think about how he speaks to me.  Then to accuse me of treating him like a slave and doing things on *my* timeline… Hmmm.  Let me go over this:
Monday--his only day off--we usually watch TV with Brody, then he WOWs.
Tuesday--work, dinner, then he WOWs, Brody
Wednesday--work, dinner, Brody, bed
Thursday--Work, dinner, Brody/WOW, bed
Friday--work, we might do video, Skeeters
Saturday--work, we might do video, bed
Sunday--usually we go post the video.

I’m pretty sure *I* work off *his* schedule.  All I ask is that he get my songs for me and let me upload.  I’m appreciative that he helps film and does the editing.  If I had a laptop/internet, I would do this all on my own.  I think he puts himself on a timeline and gets mad at me because we’re so close.  I told him all this and I’m glad he understands where I’m coming from.  If you think I treat you badly, why stay with me?  Oh right, because I don’t.  I get that he stretches himself far.  He’s the only one working, he has bills up the ass, a kid who needs him, and me.  He doesn’t get any time but WOW time for himself.  Still, this contest won’t be forever.  Anyway, but yea as long as he watches how he talks to me, we should be ok.

In other news, I am still in YouTube Idol.  Top 11 as of now!  Whee!  This week is Paula Abdul week.  I will be doing Blowing Kisses in the Wind.  So now I get to come up with a storyboard for that.  Lmao.

1:56pm
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Ahhh I had my shake.  I want to get to a certain page in here.  Then practice the following songs:
{songs}

The ones I bubbled are for the “band” I’m doing with Mike.  I’m excited about it and now I’m not sure what’s going to happen since the whole Indiana move may happen.  But I’m not going to stress over it.  What will be, will be.  Ugh Youtube has failed me and I wanna sing dammit.  I am going to need Brian to put more music on my phone.  I want:
{list of artists I don’t feel like typing out right now lol}

Meh!  I don’t feel like writing it all right now.  Lol.  I think I may turn Sara Bareilles off and put Reba on while I write!  There.  My phone needed to be on charge.  I was gonna write more but I think I will later.

Ok so, I think Rory is an idiot.  Yea.  He drives one of the trucks so naturally he should always fill it with gas.  Well, my dad has to fix the door on it so he was driving and it ran out of gas and Rory wonders why my dad is mad.  Um, really?  Last night he had to get a jump, and today he needed one at 7:30am to put the lock button numbers in so he could unlock the doors.  He locked the keys in.  I mean why drive if you can’t be responsible?  I know accidents happen… but damn.  I don’t know why my dad even lets Rory take the truck.  He’s careless and has no license.  So wtf. Oh, and he passed out at work for 4 hours.  How can this douche bag keep a job and I can’t even get one?  Last, my dad was cleaning the garage and found a bent spoon and syringe.  Yet, he’s still here.  I am so disturbed about that, and that he can stay.  On the one hand, I can’t wait to get out and away from all that.  On the other, I don’t want to leave my dad alone with him….


8:39pm
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Heya.  So, I am at Brian’s parents’ house waiting for dinner.  If I can, I will write to page 100 tonight, but I’ll probably need breaks.  Lol.  But yea, I’m glad I can write again.  I know it wasn’t TOO long, but I felt like I was screwing my new routine.  Plus it’s my Rita time and I felt like the neglector and the neglectee.  Lmao.  I think that made sense. I still wake up with shoulder pain, but at least it’s not bad all day now.  It was scaring me, so I’m glad the inflammation went down!  I’m also happy I’m through the worst of my menstrual cycle.  I was super emotional this time and the fighting didn’t help at all!  --BRB, dinner--

Nommie, dinner was great.  Brian made pork tenderloin with apple and stuffing.  So nommy.  Hehe.  Now he has WOW and I’m just gonna read/write.  I hope Brody is done with my phone soon.  I need to charge it and I am trying to think of what you can write for your bio.  Hmmm.  I mean does Ze have any specifications?  Lmao.  I should text you that instead of in here since you can’t answer me (yet).  Lol.

So my first rehearsal with Mike was fun.  I was so nervous.  I always get nervous when someone thinks I’m really talented and I have to figure out timing.  Plus I went alone and his whole family was there.  He has a 6 year old son--Taylor--and a 1 year old--Jack--omg they are the sweetest kids, and so cute.  Taylor reminds me a little of Riley.  So anyway, his wife is pregnant too haha.  He’s a year younger than me with 3 kids!  I give him props though.  At least he’s married and hasn’t fathered 3 kids with different mothers.  Damn.  But yea, it was fun.  Next time, the other guy should be there.  He’s hott so more me being nervous lol.  Not like nervous I like him way--I do love Brian and I won’t do anything to compromise our relationship.  Still, the guy is cute.  I’m just saying.  Lol.

Ahhh when I don't work on NBS it’s peaceful here.  When I do, there’s talk, talk, talk.  And distractions galore.  Grrrrrrrr.

So, my taxes still haven’t come in. Well, my W-2s I mean.  I know they have until the 31st but I wanna get my income taxes.  I hope it’s a decent amount.  I WANT A LAPTOP.  I deserve this.  Pretty pretty please God, help me make this happen.

Oooooh, guess what tomorrow is!  :)  LIBRARY DAY!  I think I’ll make my shakes tonight and make popcorn for a light snack plus some waters.  Maybe I’ll fill out a job application or two on their computer, and do some writing.
I think I’ll go write for a while.

Love,
Bells