10:58am
Well, I have about an hour before I have to go to work. I actually have some funny news. I asked Brian if I should turn back the clock on my phone. He and Ryan said that if I did that then it would turn back again. So I didn't and Brian had to wake up at 5 in the morning. I think he woke up and hour earlier for no reason. Haha! so... when I get home I'm sorting out some of my laundry so I can decide what I need to wash today and what can wait. I know all of Brian's clothes and his work clothes, my underwear and some of my clothes and my work stuff and my scrubs need to be washed. I'm hoping that while you're at bible study I can get most of it finished.
Well, I'm goin to take this time to finish writing my comments, and then I'm going to write some keywords to look up for your dreams (so I'll have something to do when you're gone).
pg 37: Ahhh, this one's about Winter. You know, I know, hell the homeless guy on the street knows that the bitches are crazy. The only type of attention they give her is when they believe she is sick. It's pathetic. You are doing this Dr Phil thing because you want answers. You love Winter and you are trying anything in your power to get help. You just love her. And if they investigate Lord knows what they might find.
pg 41: This one's about Neil and Sara. If the uti's stop after Neil is out of the picture, think about that. There is pretty much only one way to get a UTI when you're 2. I just pray Winter doesn't have a shitload of problems when she's older.
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Alright I made a list of page numbers to go back to and I think I'm just going to write it down here (the ones I have to finish).
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Sorry about that. I just wanted to write about other stuff and it was getting annoying. So... I really wished that i had brought this notebook with me to work last night. I got off work early and i was waiting for Brian to get off work. And since I was stuck in the parking lot with virtually nothing to do, I started thinking. Just about Joe and everything that's happened to me while I've been down here.
Before Joe died, everyone was so together. It was like a huge family. Everyone had known each other since either elementary, middle or high school plus the people you met at shows. There would be shows at Solid Sound Studios nearly every single Friday night. That was life for a while. People would get together and drink, hang out, cause some drama, listen to music, walk around--whatever. But you were also creating bonds, friendships--even enemies. But nothing really mattered. It was all in the spirit of being "metal" or whatever you'd call it. But everyone's life was so intertwined, no matter where we were. Even if we saw each other once in a while, it didn't matter. When Joe died, it forced everyone to grow up. For about 6 months after he passed--people would have bbq's and it would just be an excuse to get really wasted and emotional. But it was our way of grieving. I remember the bbq I went to the month after he died. I had just gotten off work and I was starving. We really didn't have any money or any food in the house and I was just saying how hungry I was when Kristie called me saying that there was a bbq at Corey's house. I swear the only reason why we went was for the food. Well, when we finally got there I had the last piece of chicken (haha). We just all sat and talked. I remember Earnest's phone rang and it was Lauren (not his girlfriend, the other one). She was surprised that I answered the phone. But anyways--as the night wore on, people were getting more drunk and more upset. I had to pee but the bathroom was being used so I knocked on the door until Brian got me the toilet paper. I went outside (it was dark so no one would see me) and there was this guy outside. I had met him like once before. He asked me what I was doing and I said I had to pee and he said, "Cool. Can I watch?" Maybe he was just being funny or whatever but the way he said it just creeped me out. I went back in the house and Johnny Asshole (that's what we call him, not his real name) was in the bathroom crying and throwing up. I caught a glimpse of it. He was just really upset about what happened but he just chose to let it all out right there. I also remember Earnest and I having a conversation. He was just talking about how lonely he was and how he wanted a girlfriend. She had to understand how important his band was to him. Basically she is the opposite of what he told me he wanted. I know you can't help who you love but for someone as picky as him, I'm surprised at how he's let her treat him. But whatever. We were just about to leave (it was like 1 in the morning and I had to work at like 6am). I asked Chandra for directions which I totally forgot when we got in the car. I was making the rounds with hugs and Nicky comes in and finds me. He said that Brian was flipping out, pulling out his hair and crying. I walked outside and told him we were leaving. He didn't follow me so I got in the car and started driving. He finally got in and we drove off. He was so upset that Joe died he just did what Johnny Asshole did. Drank himself into oblivian. So... we were starting to drive and I called my mom because she is really good at calming people down. well, she was on the phone with me and then I got lost so I handed the phone to Brian and he told me to go on an exit and I ended up on the turnpike. I had absolutely no money in the car and I had about $9 in the bank so I started crying too. I was so lost and Brian was no help. After we calmed down a little bit we got off the phone with my mom. we really needed gas and I had a bucket of change so we tried to get it at the gas station down the road but the guy wouldn't take our change. So... I fell asleep at 3am and Brian took me to work. He put all the change in the coinstar and got paper money that way to get gas. well, at work I noticed I had a missed call. It was the Kennel Club. I had an interview. I was so freakin' happy. Well, I got the job! And that's where I'm at now.
Wow... what a long story lol. Anyways, my whole point in this babbling is that things are supposed to happen. But maybe Joe was meant to be an angel for everyone to teach us not to take advantage of anything. People, opportunities--anything. I think after everyone calmed down with the partying we all slowly healed. I guess we're all figuring out how to move on.
And yes I had time to think about all of this in the car.
Well my love, I have to get ready for work. But I'm bringing some stuff over and Degrassi for when you come back from Bible study.
<3,
me!
12:22pm
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8:47pm
Hey sweetheart!
Stop doing your add-ons so we can watch Degrassi already! Meanie. Hmph. Anyways, I got this great idea at work (which is where I get most of my ideas from considering I'm sitting on my ass most of the day doing nothing) and this guy asks who wants a program. I think it would be a great idea. I could print out little stories and put them in the book with tape or whatever and it could be like a newsletter. And I'd make one for both of us (I get these programs for free at the track from lazy people who don't want to throw them out).
Here is what I am thinking for the newsletter:
*funny horoscopes
*pictures of stuff around town
*news (either fake or real)
*poems
*drawings
*whatever else you want to put in it.
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Anywho--how are you? I'm alright but I hope I can get all this laundry done.
Alright girl. I am gonna finish up my comments, then your dreams, then all the questions kay? Awww I heart this picture.
pg 45: This one is about your friend Katee. I have (er-had) a friend like that named Rachel. This one night I was expecting Lauren and Drew to come over. Okay let me explain something to you. Sense of Being had a concert and after the concert everyone was at Corey's house. I didn't get to go because I had to work. But Lauren was drunk and complaining that she needed sex so Rachel shoved her and Drew in the back room (it's really an office).
So they had sex for like 3 hours. Wow my legs would hurt after 1 hour. Whatever. So Earnest told me the next day. Anyway, this was a week after Rachel's party.
Rachel's party--April 8th 2006
Lauren and drew--April 15th 2006
So after that, it was Joe's birthday (April 21st) and Drew and Lauren were coming over (I know I already said that). Well, Rachel came too and brought this girl named Stephanie over. Well, Rachel got a call from this guy and she ditched us to have sex with this guy.
Well, it started raining--actually it was already raining that night. Whee singing is so much fun. I hope I'm not driving you crazy. :). Anywho--Drew and Lauren were outside. They were gone for a long while before Brian nd I wondered where they were. I thought they were in the car having sex. We walked out and they were outside just holding each other in the rain. They decided to be a couple on Joe's birthday. Anywho--the next day they went to drive Stephanie to work and RAchel had called Lauren to tell her how the sex was. Ack. A couple weeks later they got into this big huge fight. Rachel was pissed because Lauren was spending time with Drew instead of her. Guess who was there for here. ::raises hand::. Okay moving on.
pg 55: I was supposed to be at ur house but I didn't have any money for gas. I called David and he said that he would talk to you about it. I hope he did.
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Okay. I'm done for now. I just don't get Ben. Either we're best friends or he acts like a jerk. I'm just glad I've never met him in person. If I did and he was acting like this I'd kick him in the head. I can't get too mad at him cuz I don't know him too well so it would be pointless to yell and scream. If he cares this much we'll work it out. If not then oh well. People take themselves so seriously sometimes. whatever. Stupid boys.
Anyways I'm getting tired and I want to watch Degrassi.
Ugh.
10:47pm
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