11ish AM
Good morning,
I'm watching Ellen and Mariah Carey is on today. I love Mariah Carey. Wow Duran Duran is on Ellen too.
So, I have all these crafty ideas and I can't do them because I can't find my scissors or my tape. I will find them dammit. Lol. Ugh I feel like crap. I started a load of laundry for David at 2somethingAm, woke him up from the couch, and while I was waiting for him and for the washer to be done, I fell asleep.
Well, I woke up at 5:47am. David still wasn't in the room and of course the washer was finished. Blah. So, I stuck the clothes in the dryer, woke David up again... he was like "I'm fine, the alarms will go off and wake me up." I was like, "that's not the point." I mean hello, maybe I wanted my husband in bed with me. I just donno why he's being such an asshole. First it's like he just expects me to have sex with him like I'm his toy and it really hurts my feelings that I'm not special enough to have him try and romance me into it. I know--typical. But I don't want to be in that kind of marriage. WTH is that.
He acts like being away on my birthday is no big thing. I know he'll be making good money and I am grateful but damn, at least act like you'll miss me.
Sometimes, I wish I hadn't even gotten married. I hate saying that cause I do love him but sometimes I just feel like "no, this isn't going to work."
Wow, I heard a voice outside and it sounded like Ryan. That's so weird. Sometimes, if I close my eyes, I can smell him. Cigarette smoke, alcohol, wood, smoke from the tiki torches, and whatever shower gel he used. It was all mixed together and I loved it. It was very rugged. Lol. If I smell any of those things, I think of Ryan. Then David, hmmm. He always smells so good. Like cool water or w/e cologne he uses. Lol. But yummy. I am a terrible wife and person. How can I even talk about Ryan that way? It really isn't right. I was going to do a goodbye thing and put his pic in the Love notebook, but I'm not sure I'm ready. I have to be ready, otherwise it's just a waste of time.
Ok, time to interpret a dream:
pg 280:
1). hair dye (hair coloring) applies to thoughts colore by personal attitudes. This symbol refers to an attempt to alter one's perspective.
pg 301:
2). gay guy (homosexuality) signifies a carryover spiritual memory when attraction to another or sense of love is expressed on the spirit plane, there are no genders to differentiate.
3). fear--I can't find anything about fear of losing a job.
pg 521 and 440:
4). sandwich sub--constitutes boxed in feeling; in situation, relationship, or belief that creates a confining effect. Pepperoni refers to an interesting or personally provacative idea.
5). Bed--cautions against overdoing, a need for rest.
6). sleeping person--correlates with unaware, possibly by choice.
7). sex--a symbol that correlates with one's manner of communication with others; quality relationships and type of behavior toward them. Recall what type of sexual presentation was made. Gentle? Violent? possessive? deviant?
8). mom--characterizes nurturing aspect. May represent personal real time associations.
Wow, I just can't stop sneezing! Eep. Well, I'm glad to have the dream book but trying to piece together my dreams is too much.
Basically, I left work (which was also my apartment I shared w/ MaryAnn--a lady I work w/). I went to visit my mom who was working at Subway. She made me a sandwich with pepperoni on it, but I was like "I'll be right back, I have to go back to work so I don't get fired." So, I go back to my place/work in this room and this gay guy and I start talking about all the hair dyes and stuff. Then he leaves, and I see MaryAnn. She's trying to show me how she makes the bed, cause her girlfriend is coming over. In the back of my mind, I'm like thinking "I wanna go see my mom and eat my sandwich!"
So, then my fictional characters from my RPG are having sex and it keeps switching to my other characters (made up and they look identical to the ones having sex) and they keep talking about having sex (indecision) then it goes back to the actual people having sex.
Then, I'm in a different place, (never seen before) I wake up to go to the bathroom which I have to walk downstairs for. When I go downstairs, I walk into a room, and behind a curtain, Sara is sleeping so I walk away. Yay, time for Days of our Lives! So, I'm going to make food, watch tv and try to be crafty. Be back later.
love,
c
No comments:
Post a Comment