1:25am
I AM SO TIRED! Ack. I got bruises on my arm, blood on my pjs and dark circles under my eyes.
I so want to volunteer at my local animal shelter. I want to be a dog walker. And yes I decided that right now.
I am sorry I brought up the whole Christmas thing. I am just such a mix of emotions right now. BUt I will say that I did sort of invite myself over and I did rob you and your hubby of Christmas breakfast. I didn't even want to leave my own house on Christmas Eve. I just knew that if I stayed I'd have to deal with Brian and instead of laying down the law, I ran away.
But... I just want to say two things right now...
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, WINTER!!
I can't believe Winter is 6 years old. She has been through enough for two lifetimes. I don't think you are obsessed with her. I think it happens when you're a parent. You love Winter like Sara SHOULD love her. When a woman has a baby, it is a new kind of love. You are in love with her. And that is the beauty of parenthood. And that is how it SHOULD be. Yours and Winter's relationship is a special one and as she gets older I think as long as you are consistant with her... she will look up to you. It's not right that Sara gets to dictate her time with you and David. She is just a very selfish and insecure person and she should not be having more children. She should be taking care of the ones she has.
Girl, you need to get your period! And soon.
Man... I am not going to begin to say what happened on New Years. It was just so crazy and things got out of hand MAJORLY. I just don't want to start the new year off by telling some crazy story. But I will say this. There will be no more drinking in this house. I cannot watch this crazy circus of emotions that this house goes through every single time Brian gets drunk. And yes there was a huge amount of drunken nonsense, yelling, screaming, crying, bleeding, and praying. I am so thankful that Brian has the next couple days off. For one thing my gas light came on today, and for two he really needs to just sleep. I'll brb. Okay I'm back. I had to move the trash so it didn't end up everywhere in the morning. I have to say that this house has not been this clean for a very long time. I had a long talk with Ryan last night while Emily was trying to calm Brian down.
*sidenote* Can they stop talking about Britney, please? She has had a bad couple of years. Yes, everyone knows this. But it's a new year. Let us all move forward and stop dwelling on the craziness that is Britney. But I just have to say that she did marry Kevin Federline after 3 months. Then they had a kid and soon after, a second child. Then they got divorced and I think she just went a little crazy. But I think most of it was because everyone was following her around at the time. Everyone wanted to get a piece of her. But she got smart. She wanted to stay in the public eye and she figured that the best way to do that was to create craziness. I think she also wasn't ready to have children. But the only one who knows for sure is her. *end sidenote*.
Oh my gosh, I have written 35 pages already! Damn. I think I am goin to try and fall asleep for now. I work a double tomorrow. I don't want to run up a huge electric bill for you so if David says it's okay I'll do some laundry at your house and then do the rest at the laundramat. The most important stuff right now is underpants, socks, work clothes, and the bloody stuff.
Anywho.. I am tired but I'm gonna write this out before I sleep. I talked to Ryan and he said that he might move closer to his job. I really want to figure out if that will happen or not because I can't afford a 3 bedroom apartment by myself. Brian is still upset at Ryan cuz Ryan basically beat the shit out of him so Brian is ready to kick him out now. Oh gosh golly gee whiz.
Alright, I am going to continue to fall asleep now hopefully. Love you.
Love,
Rita
2:29am
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