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Good morning! I did not sleep well. I don’t think that’s because I took an hour nap while Brian was warcracking, I just think I had too much going on in my head. I could not sleep until like after 5am. Then I woke up around 7:50am and couldn’t sleep until after 8am, and then at like 10:41am I woke up again and said forget it. So now I’m doing laundry and listening to my song. I think I’ll try to record it tomorrow, put it on Brian’s computer and try to fancify it. He says he has a crappy video editor but if I figure it out, maybe I can fancify our vlogs too. The thing about Any Man of Mine is I’ve done it so many times at karaoke, but recording it from home without words will be tricky. It’s going to help me a lot in the long run though. I will learn timing! So yay. So, I can’t find even one picture of Zorro kitty. I feel like I do somewhere but I can’t find it. I think I will just keep looking. So there’s not a whole lot to talk about yet lmao. I was waiting for the cleaning lady to show up but my dad got the days mixed up so now she’s not coming until next week. This kind of worries me about my dad. I think maybe I oughta start looking into checking dates for him and whatnot. Ugh Brian just irritated the living crap out of me. I asked him to talk to his bosses about letting Jessica flyer so she can make some fast cash and he just keeps giving me excuses. Finally I said, “can you just ask them for me and stop making excuses?” Ugh. It just irks me. Anyway, I know she makes tons of money so why does she need fast cash right? Well, she found an apartment she likes but it’s $630 down deposit and she doesn’t get paid until next Friday so her apartment may be gone then. So yea I’m trying to help her find jobs she can do. It sucks that I won’t get to flyer but she does good things for me so I just hope to figure out a way to make money for you and the kids’ Christmas gifts. Anyway, it would be sweet if I was done with this by Christmas but that is totally unrealistic so instead of it being your Christmas gift, I think it will be a good valentine’s day gift! I think that’s more realistic but I’m not making any promises! So I think I will be done with this baby this week if not today or tomorrow, but I’m not going to push it because life happens! So but yea, that means I will have the rest of the month to work on some other nbs so that in the new year I won’t have too much going on. So next week (probably this week too) I can work on the following things:
--my book reviews. First I need to transfer the ones I have from the small nb to a comp book. Then I have 3 new book reviews to add. I’m still doing a lot of reading too and I can’t wait to check out the Jenny McCarthy ones.
--filling up the “I’m thankful for” diary
--Work on some poems to add to the Hello Kitty book.
--VIDEO REVIEWS FINALLY
--start the book to go along with it.
I think things are working out perfectly so far. I’m just a little anxious about the video reviews because they will either be amazing or an epic fail so I want to concentrate on it without too much other nbs going on. So, in other news, my friend Jen is a bartender at Skeeters and she’s trying to quit drinking so she’s been going to meetings. So, I offered to go with her as support. I’m not sure what urged me to do it but I feel like I really want to and need to. I forgot to tell her I don’t drive though so I hope this all works out. God has a reason for this, so I trust him to work it out.
She’s a really sweet girl and I’m just proud that she’s trying. I don’t even know her that well but I have a feeling this is all for a reason. I think maybe it’s partially to give me some ideas on how to deal with Rory, too. The truth is, I’m going to have to be around Rory a lot longer and so I need to be able to do it without going insane. I can only do so much for me though. I can’t force my dad to kick him out or to go to meetings to understand boundaries. All I can do is work on me and dealing with Rory by setting my own boundaries too, and I have to try to fix my reaction to his ugliness when he’s on a roll. You know?
12 Steps to Recovery
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1. We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol--that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand him.
4. made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends with them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to our conscious contact with God as we understand him, praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
It’s kind of nice to write these down and I love seeing it in color! I think I was really just super ready to start being crafty lmao. And this nb needs it. You know what is amazing to me? This is all just writing and I didn’t have to hunt for filler things to try and finish it. I mean I’m using a lot of pics and magazine stuff in the next one but so what? That is already planned on. haha. I’m thinking about saving my fashion portfolio for the next nb because that’s for new clothes and what not. We’ll see though. It depends on what happens with everything. Alright I need to change over the laundry and then I have some venting to do about Days of our Lives. My clothes that are in the dryer need another run through so I’ll vent then go switch it all over. Lol. So ok, yea. I don’t know what the writers are thinking anymore on this show. First of all, Will (Sami and Lucas’ son) is gay. Ok, cool. But before he came out, he was dating Gabby (who is the sister of Rafe, Sami’s husband, which I will get into). And then they broke up and Gabby started dating Nick. Well, now she’s pregnant but the baby is Will’s, not Nick’s. So today Gabby told Will she and Nick will raise the baby as theirs and Will is like, “my whole childhood was made of lies, I don’t want him to go through the same thing.” Really, I just want to see a gay man raise a child on the show. I think it would be a great storyline so I hope they don’t write a big custody storyline again. I mean that’s old. They don’t do it a lot but they have done it. Next, we have Brady Black sleeping with Kristin DiMera. I’m not really mad about this, it’s more of a wtf thing. Kristin used to be married to Brady’s father John Black, so he’s sleeping with his former stepmother. It’s just kind of strange. Now, Kristin is like “This has to be our secret and it can never happen again.” But I think it will be a good storyline. Hehe. Lastly, Eric Brady is back…. as a priest. UUUUUGH. First of all, I knew if Eric Brady ever came back to Salem, he wouldn’t be played by Jensen Ackles. Jensen will likely never go back to daytime television. I don’t know if I like the actor playing Eric or not, but WHY is he a priest? Lmao. I have a feeling he will compromise his new career by falling in love with Nicole, and there went my Eric/Billie pairing. Although I really don’t like that Lisa Rinna is playing Billie again anyway. Grrrrr. Oh wait one more thing. Sami. WHAT HAVE THEY DONE? First they screwed Lucas and Sami to have EJ and Sami. Then they brought in Rafe which I loved. If we can’t have Lucas and Sami, Rafe and Sami and some Rafe and Carne (ew). Now I don’t know wtf they are doing. They almost had Sami and Lucas again but NOPE! I just wish they’d stop fucking around and let Sami be happy with either Lucas or Rafe. Not EJ though. I personally liked EJ with Taylor, Nicole, or Ava. Lol. Anyway, I need a shower. I’m going to get pretty, do the application for Marriott, and then go to Hoffman’s for Christmas lights. I can’t wait to take pictures!
After I get pretty, I have a man. TIME FOR MY YEAR IN REVIEW!
January
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*I started off this year with dates, lmao. First there was Bobby aka Romeo and he turned out to be a real ass. He basically accused me of only being into Ryan. He was right if I’m honest, but he handled it was wrong.
*I started to get really close to Ryan but he planned to move to New York and then said he changed his mind for me. So I thought we’d end up together but we ended up in a huge fight over me prank calling him. I was jealous over his friendship with Nicole who I still think tried to stir trouble between us.
*I started hanging out with Brian excessively.
*I tried to get with Dana Walsh but he freaked over our age difference. I think it’s because I’m not really independent.
Also, Erica is supposedly pregnant. Pfffffft.
February
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*I spent Valentine’s Day with Brian who I was convinced was “just a friend.” He dressed so nice, got me a candy bar and took me to Majors where my ex husband and his wife were also at. I sang karaoke.
*Erin’s father died only hours after Valentine’s day. The date was technically February 15th, but it will alter her perception of Valentine’s day forever. It’s still one of my favorite v-days ever (besides the one I spent with you) because even though Brian and I were just friends, he worked to make it special.
March
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*Brian and I went on our first official date earlier in the month. I went with him to buy his laptop and then we went to Chili’s for dinner.
*Pappy came to visit and Brian and I got into a huge fight. I swore I’d never talk to him again.
*Brian and I made up 3 or 4 days later. We went to see “Silent House” and even though I thought we’d never be the same again, things were even better.
*He left to visit Indiana and while he was gone, I decided I wanted to be with him. Our official anniversary is 3/17/12!
*I really started to loathe Big Lots.
April
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--I was at Carolina Ale House for ladies night with Erica and BJ. She let me take Ryan home and when I came back I sat in the car and waited for them. I asked if I could drive home for practice, and backed into another car. The cop told me he’d just say she was driving but I still got screwed. I think it happened in March actually but Erica was being crazy about it in this month.
--Erica came up with some game she was playing with Rich and his gf and I ended up confessing to her that I had slept with Rich during their relationship after all.
May
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--I was in the Duke Lounge karaoke contest and I won! I have an amazing trophy. It’s one of my proudest moments.
--I also really had realized how truly over Ryan Mac I was by this time. I think it’s because he tried to get me to kiss him even know I’m with Brian.
--I threw Erin her birthday party and it was an epic fail between the rain, and her friend making out with the guy she liked. It became a huge drama fest and I was happy when my honey took me home.
June
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--I got real sick with breathing problems and found out I had an upper respiratory infection. I still think more was going on.
--I quit smoking
--I stopped speaking to Erica
--People started going crazy and eating each other. In Miami a guy ate the face of another guy. I went nuts almost thinking it was a zombie apocalypse. It was scary. No eating bath salts!
--Brody went to Indiana for the summer.
July
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--Rory started being a huge dick and fighting with me. I think we’ve fought almost every month since.
--Big Lots really started screwing me with my hours.
--I got really sick from stress/ant bites allergic reaction.
--I went to two parties and a bar for 4th of July
--I went to Universal for Brian’s birthday.
--I got rid of 95% of my clothes
--I went through a huge bout of depression and it has been a struggle ever since.
August
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--Well, things at Big Lots really started to crash down around me
--I was mad and negative all the time
--We were struggling for money to get to LA, and it was getting out of hand.
--I had it with nearly everyone I was friends with. Everyone was acting like such a drama queen. It was dragging me down. Thank God I had Brian.
--Brody came back from Indiana and went back to school.
September
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--I WENT TO CALIFORNIA (L.A.) and fell in total love with it.
--Brian and I celebrated 6 months of being together. Actually that may be next month… lmao.
--I quit Big Lots because they accused my dad of stealing over my dad using my discount. It was a really upsetting event and has really set Brian and I back a lot.
October
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--I started passing out flyers for Brian’s job
--We celebrated our 6 month anniversary? I’m pretty sure that was last month lol
--Stopped being friends with Nicole again because she and Jordan used things I said about Rory on fb to personally attack him.
--I was Freddy Kreuger’s victim, (and a pink lady) and Brian was Freddy Kreuger. So was Brody. (for Halloween)
--Broke out like crazy in acne.
--realized I’d gained all my weight I’d lost, back
--still very depressed.
--marked Adam’s 2nd anniversary since he died.
November
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--I lost a “friend” over politics. She said some very ugly things and told me she could not be friends with me because of my beliefs. It was very upsetting.
--My dad ended up in the hospital. Supposedly he had pneumonia.
--I saw a LOT of my mom.
--I had a great Thanksgiving.
--Breaking Dawn 2 came out--it was disappointing
--I turned 29
--I let go of Erin for real.
A very sweet/bittersweet month indeed.
--I had a great birthday party!
--I got goodies from Mel
--I got tons of goodies and a blanket from Jess
--Supernatural seasons 3 and 4 from Brian
--Amazing camera from dad.
{nothing for December because SOMEONE never filled it out}.
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