11:52am
First I'm going to finish telling you everything from the last time I wrote. Oh, I just read over everything. I did finish. Lol. Anyway, I didn't get the job. 63 pages was just too much to memorize I guess. Not only that, but I started my period and felt like shit. I bled all over myself. Jadira and Stephanie cheated throughout the test and wouldn't help me or Brittany. In fact, they blatantly ignored Brittany and I. It's not really that I want to cheat my way through life but apparently I'm the only one who has to do everything the hard way. If you're going to cheat for one person, cheat for everyone.
I just feel like I let the world down. Especially David. Everything would have been so great money wise. Now, I'm stuck at Dillard's, my sales suck, and I'll get a pay cut soon. So instead of it getting better, or hell, staying the same... it'll be worse. David was so excited too. I feel like I've really screwed us over. I can't stand letting him down this way. Now, he's going to be even more worried all the time and probably have more heart problems and it will be all my fault. I just wish I could do things right. I seem to struggle with everything I do. There's like, nothing I'm good at. I sucked at sports, I was too "big boned" to be a dancer, I was a clumsy waitress, bad at money, slow making appointments, and I can't sell shit. I'll be stuck at dead end jobs for the rest of my life.
I called my dad. He's bringing Tucker over. That will be more of a money strain probably. I just wanted Tucker. Now I feel bad. See? I don't do anything right.
I'll write more later.
<3,
Chelsea
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