July 16th, 2012

July 16th, 2012
11:18am

Hey Chels,
What up?  Lol, I said that out loud before writing it down.  I'm such a nerd.  So... yesterday I had to get a new turtle filter because the other one broke.  This one is not quiet by any means, but hopefully it'll be a better filter.  I had to fill the tank up almost all the way to get it to be not AS loud.  It seems like he's enjoying all the extra water, though, which is good.  I just want him to be the happiest turtle ever.

So... I have some good news and some bad news.  But before that, I have more bad news.  I am talking to Steve right now and he's being a big fat liar.  He said all he did was take a friend to her family reunion for the 4th and he doesn't know what else I'm talking about. WHAT A BIG FAT LIAR!  He is telling me they're "just friends".  So... ignoring me for the past like month or so, not even commenting on anything I've written on your page and/or texting me telling me I'm wrong or have the wrong idea, not to mention ALL that flirty stuff they've been writing back and forth to each other on his facebook is all in my head, right?
Yeah, no.  Yeah... so Larry and I are "just friends" too, I guess.  Stupid ass little boys.  I am so done.  If he wants to be a little bitch and not tell me the truth then fine.  I'm just not gonna give a shit about telling him anything else anymore, either.  And if I "accidentally" delete him off my facebook, well... I can't help my silly butter fingers.  It pisses me the fuck off that he can't just be a man about it.  I would probably be less pissed if he wasn't saying everything that he was saying to me this year and pretty much every year since we've known each other.  Now he's trying to play it off like she's just willing to hang out with him and he's still married and not looking.  Doesn't seem that way, buddy!  But whatever. At least I tried, right?

So... the good/bad news is this:  I was able to get most of the Vampire Huntress novel books but not all of them.  The book I left off on is due in August.  So I decided to get some more books so I wouldn't have to wait THAT long to read anything.  I ended up getting a LOT of books, lol.  So... I'm gonna try and do that thing where every 50 pages or so I give a rundown of what I've read so far.  So, the book I'm reading now is Dragons Prefer Blondes by Candace Havens.  I would have written about it sooner but the first 50 pages are the whole setup and it takes a while to get going.  But anyway, it's about this woman named Alex who slays dragons.  I guess the plot is set in Montreal, Canada where the headquarters is.  There's her, 3 sisters, and one brother.  I have no idea if this is the first book but I'm gonna guess that it probably isn't, but oh well.  So... up until now we just found out that Alex's mom is behind some of the craziness going on.  She is a mage and to my knowledge that's like a magician or someone that deals with magic.  Alex and her sisters are Guardians and they're all in charge of different areas of the magical world.  There's demons, fairies, dragons, and what ever their specialty, they have tattoos on their wrists corresponding to that particular world that is also used as a transporter.  And I guess there is this dragon that wants her as his mate which she doesn't want because he's tried to kill her alaready and he's promised to another dragon but he's not interested in her but then it seems like he is?  I'm not sure what's happening there.  But she told him she was dating someone else which she really wasn't but the guy (named Jake) was nice enough to humor her.  Oh and there is also this wedding she's supposed to be planning for a friend but the girl changes her mind every 20 minutes.
So.. that's everything I can remember about the previous 136 pages.  I'm taking my car in to get fixed pretty soon so I'm sure I'll be almost if not all the way finished with it by the end of the day.  Lol it's not the best book but it's entertaining.

<3,
me

12:20pm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

11:16pm

Hey sweet lady,
So... the rest of my day was pretty good.  I took my car in to get checked and a new water pump, then my mom picked me up and we took my dad to get his foot x-rayed and bloodwork done, then we went to Klein's to get sweet corn, then Walgreens, then home.  I actually put all my notebook supply stuff in the same place.  I thought it would free up more space than it actually did, but oh well.  I did have a grand old time doing nbs and getting stuff ready for the next nb, though.  I found some old letters from 2002-2003 and some poems that Kierstin (Barth) had written.  It's all I have of her besides a few pictures (I guess the box that had all of my letters from her was one of the boxes I left in Florida.  It breaks my heart but I've learned to let go of the things that I've lost).  I'm not sure yet what exactly I want to put in the new nb, I just thought it might be cool to have a small section of stuff I used to write.  I did find some old poetry as well, maybe I should go through more of it and pick my favorites.  These are my favorites from like -- 2002 through when I stopped writing for a few years.  When I have my car again I'm going to go to the library and attempt to copy the photos I have.  Or I might have to do that at Kinko's.  It's like... remember in one of our notebooks how I took all of the pictures of us and put it in the notebook?  Well, I want to do that again only I don't want the nb to end up so bulky.  That's why I wanted to make it like paper paper.  I'm gonna go to Kinko's tomorrow and see what options they have.

So... I've decided a few things. It always happens because whenever this happens I always tend to freak out.  But like... I'm sick of this back and forth stuff that I do when it comes to Larry.  So, things to remember:
Whether or not he's texing me:
1) we are still friends, maybe better ones now than we've ever been.
2) it's still the summer of ME.  It's only the middle of July.  I refuse to worry about yet ANOTHER boy all summer long.
3) He and I have established the fact that we're NOT sleeping with other people.
4) If it's meant to evolve into something more, it will.  And if not, it won't.

I need to stop the madness inside my head once and for all.  I partially blame him for this screwy behavior but you know what... I'm still not going to see anyone else for a while until I know for a FACT that there's something worth pursuing (or not).  I'm still giving myself healing time and me time and if I have to, I can make it through another season manless.  I'll be okay no matter what.  Because no matter what ultimately ends up happening with Larry, he already can't hurt me the way my ex did.

So... I want to finish up this episode of The Hills and then do some yoga and get ready for bed.

<3,
me

11:48pm