1:07am
Hey Chels,
What up! So, I literally spent all day avoiding writing in here and as the day/night wore on, things just kept on happening so before I go to sleep I want to write. As tired as I was, I was actually pretty productive today. I put all my clothes away, washed my bedding, and even took all my pics off my digital camera to make room for more and charged up both my cameras for the next time I use them. I love always being fully prepared. I was going to meditate, but it's after 1am and my parents are still awake so that means that the TV is really loud and annoying, which is a bad environment for meditating.
So, last night was an experience to say the least. Barry invited me over at 8 because his cousin was supposed to go home, which didn't end up happening until like 9:30pm. He was okay, but it was a little awkward at times. There would just be huge gaps in conversation because Barry was working and Chris (his cousin) would just sit there and not say anything. It turns out his mom who was picking him up was in Huntley (which is over by Rockford) and she was at her friend's house and ignoring her phone. So for a couple hours they thought she was on her way and Chris was starting to get worried because it had been a while. She FINALLY calls and a little while later, he is finally gone. So, Barry has to go to his new office and set things up because they had to get everything ready for the new girl Barry had to train. The "they" I'm referring to has to do with Barry and his business partner, George. They rented a space in the clock tower building (which is one building I have always loved and wanted to see inside but never thought I would) and George wanted a receptionist/help desk person but no one was sure how much she knew about computers. So Barry had to be at the office around 8:30am to train her. So, I'm sitting in the middle of the room reading my book and texting with you when Barry asks if I could record my voice with automated messages. I was a little shy at first but got over it and it came out pretty well. So now you can hear me say things like: "hello, you have reached Protechs." That's pretty much all I remember but it's the normal things you would hear someone say in an automated message.
After a while, George left, so it was just Barry and me in that big building all alone. After he did more work, he wanted to take me on a tour of the building so we went up to the 14th floor and saw all of these rooms under construction. We basically just walked around an abandoned building and he took me to the fire escape, from which you could see pretty much all of DT Elgin. We stayed up there for a while. I wanted to tell him that I loved him but it came out something like, "you make me so happy." Which is kind of like the I love you's lame cousin who has to sit at the kid's table on Christmas even though he's 30. I want to tell him that I love him but I think I am putting too much pressure on myself.
So, we walked around some more and took some kick ass pictures and then went back to his office so that he could finish up. That's when I got the text about Erica and Rich. That relationship looks like it's headed out the door, and they will both be better for it.
We finally got home around 1am. He went to go brush his teeth and I laid down and almost fell asleep. He came back and started kissing me and well, yeah. Lol.
I think the "problem" I was having worked to my advantage because we had absolutely no issues this time around. That's all I'm at liberty to say lol.
Yesterday and today/tonight have really shown me a different side of him. He had been so careful about what he said in text for so long, it really made me wonder if he liked me at all. Apparently his last girlfriend would get pissed off at him or offended so she wouldn't talk to him for a while because of a sexy text. Hello--stupid. I was wondering why he was being overly cautious, but once I told him that it would take a lot to offend me, it's just been nonstop. He's like a kid in a candy store: "yay! I can send sexy text messages to my girlfriend!" {here's a reason why his "ex girlfriend" didn't like to get sexy texts from him: she didn't have the same feelings for him as he had for her and he took her being uncomfortable as he wasn't going to flirt with anyone over text ever again. Including his current girlfriend. Yeah, he understands women alright, lol. 7/2/14}
{Also... you don't have to read this part if you don't want to. I'm leaving it in here because it was a part of my life but I'm taking out as much as I can so you can still look at me the next time you see me lol. This is what some might call the "overshare".}
I also found out why he has never gone down on me, a couple of terrifying experiences and a sense of smell that is too powerful. He is afraid of being nauseated by the smell of my vagina. Lol! He has a wicked sense of smell and I guess when he gets turned on it gets 10x worse so even though something might smell good at first, it might get too strong for him to handle. I told him I could understand that but he is welcome to try if he wants to so we'll see. I myself am terrified of that taste because the first time I had any sort of experience in that department, it was absolutely awful. It was my first time ever and I was in Lisa's apartment with my first boyfriend. I seemed to do a good job but when he finished I was ill prepared for what was to follow -- my mouth and other parts of my face covered in the grossest stuff ever. I went to the sink and spit it out and there was some hanging from my lip. That was the one and only blowjob he had ever gotten from me. And the times he went down on me were omg awful. It seriously felt like I was being pierced. Granted, since him I have only had good experiences in that area and have come to enjoy the many aspects of being with someone, the finishing part always makes me nervous. I know that by the time you read this, I will have already gotten this answer from personal experience, but how do you deal with it? Do you enjoy giving head? Do you always go until he finishes or stop before? What do you do with it? Lol I never in a million years thought I would be asking ANYONE that question.
Crap, it's after 2am. I have got to get some sleep, hanging out with my girl Emily tomorrow. So, I will have more to write about (yay).
Love,
Me
2:05am
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
7:46pm
Hey Chels,
Ugh. Even though the air conditioning is on, I feel gross. And for the past few days, no matter what I've eaten, I feel bloated. So far today I've had 2 types of chicken salad and potato salad and I still feel bloated and gross.
So, today was good. I actually woke up when I was supposed to and only managed to be 6 minutes late picking Emily up as opposed to 2 hours. We went to Starbucks and I had a green tea frap and a Tarragon Chicken Salad samich (which I had in honor of you), and we also went to the library so I could pick some stuff up. After that I took her home and have been laying in bed watching Boy Meets World ever since.
So, where was I in my story? Okay so last night he actually texted me that he was horny. (lol!) I told him that when we were in that building, I kept thinking of different places we could have sex. I have never desired to have sex in public before (or what I consider to be public), but I couldn't help myself. It was mainly because the building was dark and we were all alone and you know... the imagination runs wild. In my imagination there would at least be a blanket and it would be romantic and thrilling at the same time. But it also made me wonder how many other people have had that exact same idea and actually carried it out. It's a building that is over 100 years old, it's bound to have seen some sex lol. So, not only was I in this building for the first time, I'm actually thinking about having sex in it? Wow. Lol. We shall see if this is something that will actually happen, but I wouldn't be completely opposed to it if it did.
Oh, I saw Korey today. I was driving to the library and saw him walk out of his house and sit on the front porch. He was sitting on his front steps as I was driving by and I just looked at him and he looked right back at me. I didn't wave or anything, just stared him down. I know where you live, bitch! Ha.
I still have no idea wtf all that Justin stuff was about yesterday. I'm sure he showed you the apology, but I am also 100% sure he didn't show you anything else. I don't care what his personal shit is. How does that warrant hitting on someone you haven't spoken to in 2 months? And then deleting me because I tell him to back off and then bitching to you about it? You have enough to deal with and you know him better than I do. I was mostly just pissed off because I felt like he was being disrespectful towards me and you. But you don't have to say anything because it's not your problem and it's already over. Meh, I hope you feel better soon because I want to talk to you about this Barry stuff like ASAP. I just have one question: do you think I'm weird for analyzing this? I think when people do things like this, their first thought isn't "should I think about this first?" I know you have had sex in various areas, that's why I feel okay with talking to you about it. But, it's not like you had time to think these things out, right? I mean, if you had time to think about where you were willing to have sex, would you be more or less likely to have sex in these places?
It's not even like I've never THOUGHT about it. Not all the time, but sometimes, I'll come across some remote area and think to myself, "I wonder what it would be like to have sex here?" But I never had the opportunity. In spite of that I've had my share of deviant acts. I've had sex in a child's bed {my first boyfriend's niece's bed, because it was the only option as opposed to doing things in the living room of the apartment his sister lived in. For the record, it was completely awful and I of course made sure the sheets were changed prior to his nieces coming home} played with a guy while his family was around (Mike, and for some reason he really enjoyed being played with in the morning, usually when his sister, her kids and bf were all in the room having breakfast), had sex in a room full of people (with Brian, at John's house. Was during the hurricane -- or right before? -- and no one was really paying attention to us. It was right after because I remember candles. It was very discreet, but still). I've had people hear me have sex on purpose (when Lauren and Earnest were living with us), jerked someone off while driving a car, hotel sex (best sex ever), rough sex (and scary sex, also Brian), made out in a pool for 3 hours causing major hickeys on my neck, also, getting fingered and eaten out by someone who was not my boyfriend at the time (Ryan, and tbh the fingering was rough and kind of hurt after a while), had sex in a pool and then in a bed that did not belong to my boyfriend and me, had sex/messed around on various pieces of furniture, and been videotaped (only once and it was a disaster).
I have come (no pun intended) to realize that the experiences don't mean as much as the person you share them with. And even though it didn't work out with those other guys, it brought me here. Now you get to find out if anything happens. Aren't you lucky? Lol.
Have you ever had a fantasy or something you've been curious about and has it actually happened? I dunno about fantasies. Everyone seems to have the same ones and they all tend to sound cliche after a while. Except I do have a fantasy of sharing as much as I can with one really special person that I trust more than anything. :D.
<3
8:40pm
No comments:
Post a Comment