May 2nd, 2011

May 2nd, 2011
12:11am

Ugh!  I need you and you're not here!!  ::cries::.  I am so upset right now.  Apparently Korey flipped out on Barry because of me.  I had told Barry that Osama died and then I went to go watch CSI Miami with my mom and came back (the show was interrupted!  Ugh, rude).  Anyhow, so I guess Korey said the same thing and Barry said, "I know, Rita just told me," and Korey flipped out and said he didn't want Barry to mention me or even say my name.  I am just so-- I want to fucking scream is what I want to do.  Korey and I have not been friends for a long time.  But believe me, that breaks my heart.  I wish we could all be friends.  I wish Barry and I could be together and Korey would be okay with it and we could all just be together.  I know Korey feels "betrayed" because I "chose" Barry over him.  Let's just get one thing straight -- IT WASN'T A FUCKING CONTEST!  You know how insecure I felt about Sarah, Barry's ex?  Imagine how insecure I would feel getting sucked into Korey's baggage -- his baby mama who he is still sleeping with, yet she won't let him call her his gf.  Yeah, no thank you.  Just cuz I picked someone else doesn't mean I don't want to be friends with Korey.  When he wasn't like this, we could talk about stuff and be goofy and take walks.  I was so glad to have him in my life.  And then all the crazy started and I just couldn't deal with him anymore.  He either doesn't know how much it has hurt me, or he doesn't care.  I picked Barry because of how I feel about him and because he treats me with respect and never says anything bad about me to me (doesn't cut me down).  Korey has already made (or tried to make) me feel guilty for not going to see him when I had other plans or didn't feel up to it, plus he made me promise I wouldn't sleep with Barry.  Like, are you fucking kidding me?  Last I checked I was free and could do whatever the fuck I wanted with my life.  Barry and I are gonna be together until one or both of us decide that it's not the best thing for us anymore, NOT because some asshole can't just shut up and be happy for his friends.  Ugh.  I am so digusted right now I feel like I need to punch something.  Barry and I have had this conversation before.  He's my guy and that's all there is to it.
Okay.  I am gonna catch up on my tweets and listen to some Jay and Silent Bob get Old before I attempt to get some sleep.

Love you,
Rita

12:35am