1:33pm
Hey Chels,
I am so sorry to hear you are depressed. It's a shitty situation, if I didn't have my dad to take care of, I have no idea what I would be doing right now or if I'd even have a job. Sometimes when I talk about buying something or being happy that I get to pay something off, I feel bad. I don't want you to feel like I'm flaunting it, which I'm totally not. I don't ever want to make you feel like I'm so much better off than you are, because believe me, I know I'm not. I mean, yeah I get to go on a trip to see you, and maybe spend some money, but this is something I've been saving up for since last year. I could have kept saving up in hopes that one day I get to go to Washington/California, or I could go somewhere now when I have the time and money for it. And I would rather not wait forever. So I am going to bring as much money as I can (after bills, of course), and we are gonna have the best weekend ever. But I only want to do things that would be manageable so neither of us feels like we shouldn't have paid this much for something --if that makes sense. The one thing I would like to treat you to is Butterfly World --so that would be tickets + food + 1 special gift to bring home. The one thing I saw on the website is a ton of packages of seeds or a butterfly necklace. It's between that or the flipflop necklace at the mall, but I'd rather get the butterfly if we're going there. And I want to find a small vial for sand at the beach -- ooh that reminds me! Ooh I just found the perfect site. It's called Vampfangs.com and the vials are just $3.75 each, which isn't bad at all. If you would just ANSWER ME! Lol.
I just have to say that I'm sorry about Erin. I know that she was there for you when I couldn't be, and now, well I can't say I'm exactly surprised that you two aren't close, but I do think it is so stupid that she is treating you like this. You just did what was best for you, there's no reason to name call. I think that is very childish of her and she needs to stop pointing her finger at everyone else besides herself.
When I first met her I felt like she was jealous because *I* was your best friend and she wanted to be better than me. Like, everyone I turned -- she was there. When I tried talking to you online, when I went to visit you, even on SATC day. And after we had that fight I was so hurt that you went straight to Erin because if anyone knew how much you had been through, it would be someone who was there for EVERYTHING. But now I realize that that's probably WHY you went to her. BECAUSE she didn't know everything. Even after we started talking again, I hated how she was your new BFF. But like you just told me, she might have been yours but you weren't really HERS. I think that is beyond fucked up.
Erin has a lot of issues to deal with, and taking them out on other people is not going to help her out.
And on that note, I have to take my dad to Osco soon. I cannot wait for him to be gone tomorrow. It sounds mean but I haven't had the house all to myself for a LONG time.
<3, me
2:34pm
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11:30pm
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Hey Chels,
Well, you are out with your new guy so I am just gonna write in here.
So, I ordered the heart vials for us to put the sand in. I hope they don't break. Also, I found a ring today that I forgot I had. It's pretty but I feel like I'm being called to give it to you. So I was wondering if we could exchange rings and put them around our sand vial necklaces? If that seems a bit much, I saw this celtic friendship ritual thing that I thought we could do because of the trip solidifying our friendship, but I dunno. I'm trying to cram a lot into a little bit and already I have us driving everywhere and I don't want us to worry about gas the whole time. So, I think I will just stick with what I have already. It will still be fun! I do want to go to the New Age shop in Lake Worth though, if it's still around. I'm gonna check and see what New Age stores are around where you are and hopefully we can go to one. There is no place like that around here, which makes me very sad.
Love,
Me
11:42pm
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