11:19pm
Chels Bells!
Welcome to part 2 of my notebook. I now understand why it will probably take you a while to finish up your nb and that is perfectly fine. Ugh, I don't get this stupid turtle filter at all. It keeps making noises like it's sucking air and the water pressure is really low. But it does seem to be working better than before. Tomorrow I am gonna clean the bottom of the tank and see if less water will make it work better. So, we shall see.
So, I had a blast with you this weekend! It really made me wish I lived down there again but then I remembered why it didn't work out the first time. But as long as I at least get to visit, I will be fine. Okay, I dunno if it's the storm or what but it's making the filter go crazy. Maybe I will fix it! Haha yeah right. OMG I think I fixed it! Yaaay me! I rule. Well, we'll see. So freaking happy right now! Woot woot.
Well, where do I begin? Yesterday was... interesting to say the least. I was supposed to see Barry but I didn't hear from him all day so I had no idea if we were still supposed to hang out or not. He told me he had a really rough day and I was like, "would you want to just hang out tomorrow?" and that's when things started getting really weird. Like, normally if one of us isn't feeling up to hanging out we make future plans, but he was saying, "okay, some other time then." And like, I dunno. At first I was ready to stay home but he said, "am cool I am used to not having people around when I feel like I need it, it's good for me." (yikes). I am scared to be codependent, but you know, after a while I started getting scared because it wasn't normal Barry behavior. Plus I just felt in my gut that he shouldn't be alone. So, I had to wait until Korey left (stupid) and I ended up driving for 2 hours. It was funny -- I got in my car around 11pm and Loveline was on the radio. So I just drove around Elgin listening to it. Then it was getting late and I wasn't hearing from him until finally he said I could stop by around 1am. So, I waited until Loveline was over and then headed out to Geoff's house so by the time I got back it would be time. So, while on my way, I passed right by Korey and Barry walking! But thankfully Korey wasn't paying attention. Oh--I felt like I should see Barry, but he said Korey was stopping by (because I guess he had the same feeling) so when I said that I didn't know if I wanted to come out anymore and he got hella weird, I knew something was wrong. So I was alright with driving all that time. I would have stopped at a park, but no. So, anyhow, I got back to Elgin and when Barry was typing he was misspelling shit like crazy. I found him walking Killer and he was so drunk. I have never seen him like that before so I could only imagine how shitty his day must have been.
We finally got home and I just listened to him babble on for a long while. I couldn't keep track of what in the heck he was talking about, but I think it was more along the lines of why he sees more than the average person and what exactly our purpose is, all that stuff.
You know, I am sure that he would have survived the night on his own. But I am his girlfriend. If he can't count on me to be there for him when he needs me, then that would be unfortunate. He told me that the one thought getting him through the day was that he would get to see me later. For me not to show up after that comment would make me feel like crap. He has been there for me when I needed him and I wouldn't be a very good friend or girlfriend if I just let it go. I don't care if other people tend to stay away from him when he's in a bad way. I'm not other people. If there is one person he should be able to count on, it should be me. Of course you know me, you know that I don't just do things for people because I feel like I should. All I'm saying is that after all he and I have been through, I should hope we would be close enough to know when the other person is in a bad way and needs someone to be around. I would feel like crap if he felt like I wasn't that one person he could always go to. But as I learned last night, I am that one person. He kept saying how he was so happy that I was there with him even though I didn't have to be. What is it with this "have to" business? He is my guy. We take care of each other. Last night was my turn to take care of him.
Ugh wtf dude my nose is running. I better not be getting sick again! I feel like I have so much more to write about but even all of this just exhausted me. So maybe tomorrow (if it's nice out) I will find some place to sit and write. Either that or I will enjoy the lovely AC and just write here, lol.
Love you!
Rita Bo Bita
No comments:
Post a Comment