12:35pm
Hey Chels,
Wow I have certainly already had an interesting night/morning. As soon as I was eating my mom laid into me about not loading the dishwasher. Excuse me, she told me she would load it and I would unpack it. I guess when I was younger I didn't do it right or something. I have since learned how to pack a dishwasher but I hate doing it at home because my mom would always bitch about how I did it. I get that she doesn't want it run before it's all full. I get that. But that's not what I mean. she has to lecture me about where everything goes and then she herself will have cups on the bottom and bowls up top. So what does it matter? Then she laid into me about the dishes I left in my room that had bugs on them. Well, that's kind of gross, but how about leaving dishes EVERYWHERE in the kitchen? That's not me. Since I leave all my dishes in my room.
Then she got on me about my dad calling a friend of his to organize a trip to McHenry (about an hour away) to visit another friend. Her name is Laura and she had a stroke when she was 23. She used to live in Elgin and I met her when my gramma first joined the stroke club. It's crazy to think that my dad and my gramma have that in common, and they both went for rehabilitation at this facility called Marion Joy.
Anywho, I talked to my dad who didn't want me to be a part of the whole calling and organizing part at all. Then I guess he wanted Mom to do it. He is home all day and plus he has me to help. Hello, that's what personal assistant means. Ugh. I don't get why he never wants me to help and he always nags my mom to do things for him.
So, earlier, Barry had asked me if I was busy later and would I like to come see him? Duh! I haven't seen him since Saturday.
Ugh-- I have things to pick up from the library and I am so tired!
<3,
Me
1:02pm
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3:11pm
Good afternoon!
It's good to hear you talking about nbs again and working on it and whatnot. Ugh, I was sleeping so good and the stupid doorbell woke me up. I thought about going back to sleep but it's already after 3. So anyhow, I didn't get to Barry's until after 10. And I didn't tell my parents where I was going or when I would be back. I just said I was going out. Well, I guess Barry had talked to Korey last night. Korey asked Barry what he was doing later and Barry forgot to lie and said he was hanging out with me. Well, Korey hung up on him! This whole thing is so stupid and has gotten way out of hand. I used to care if Korey found out or not but it's gotten to the point where I could really care less. I mean, I can see where Korey is coming from. I really can. He's mad because I stopped talking to him. But that was a year ago. The lame thing is, I did it so abruptly because I didn't want to lie to him and I couldn't think of an excuse good enough as to why I just all of a sudden stopped talking to him. It's not even like me to do that sort of thing. But, I did what I felt I had to. And I do miss Korey. But I miss what friendship we had before all the crazy. I wish that I could make things better. But how? I would have to say how I was feeling and why I felt the need to just stop talking and he would have to hear how his behavior caused someone to just drop him. The sad thing is, I was so happy to find him on Myspace.com. I was like, OMG it's Korey! Yay! And my heart literally jumped for joy. It's so sad that it's gone from that to this. And then this morning I see him mowing the lawn by Barry's apartment complex. So I know he saw my car. And automatically my first thought was, "shit, I've been caught." But caught doing what? Leaving my boyfriend's house? By someone who has never been and never will be my boyfriend? Who fucking cares? I know I swore but, oops. Lol. All I mean is, I don't know what the big deal is. We all live within a 2 mile radius of each other. One day Barry and I will be in the park holding hands and Korey will see us. And then what? Smdh. So anyway,
Enough of this crap. I am just warning you, it is about to get a bit graphic up in here. Lol, I'm sorry but I feel like I need to share this.
So, you know how I was saying yesterday that for the past couple days I had been extremely horny and I felt like there was something wrong with me? Well, the loving I got last night was so incredible that I think I'm good for now. Lol. Last night we tried something different, the reverse cowgirl. I have tried it with other guys but it never worked out (they always fell out). I have to admit that it was a little awkward at first but I got the hang of it really fast. I dunno, the sensations weren't the same as with other positions (or it could have been because I had been on top for a while before). As soon as he entered me I could hear him make noises like he was enjoying himself which made me feel a lot better.
I liked the feeling of his hands on my butt and I liked being able to go slow so that he could watch what was going on. The newest thing for me that I've noticed I can do is being able to rock my hips without moving the rest of my body. I'm sure most girls have already figured out how to do this but I just sort of had to figure out how this worked. I like doing that because it uses up way less energy than having to move your whole body all at once. We alternated between going really slow with me forward (towards his feet) to me leaning backwards and having his hands on my hips sort of guiding them along.
After that we went into regular doggie style. Most of the time I have to lay my upper body down because it is such a huge sensation for me but I dunno, lately I have been able to be up on all fours pretty much the whole time. And I have no idea if it's the yoga because I don't do it that often. I think starting today though, I'm gonna try and do it every night, because I want to get back into the habit of doing yoga again. Not just for the sex but because I love the way my body feels afterwards. Anywho, eventually I had to have him stop because it was hurting the inside of my stomach. I guess that is the cervix or something? I dunno. It feels weird so I have to keep repositioning my... parts. Lol. One thing I don't like about away facing positions, you really are vulnerable to whatever is going on back there. But anyway, so we stopped and watched a movie, Hot Tub Time Machine. It was alright. I liked Chevy Chase as the hot tub mechanic, lol.
After that, we decided on round 2. Well, we didn't so much as his "brain" did. Haha :P. This time he was on top of me and he has this habit of almost sort of squishing me in that position. He doesn't do it to be mean or anything but I love being that close to him. So I sort of hug him to me and I think that's how he gets so close. After a while he flipped my legs to one side and spooned me. I love that position -- I actually think it's one of my favorites. We were going at it for a while when he switched to the other side and OMG Chelsea. I think I had the biggest orgasm of my life. He wasn't even really moving that much but he was in this spot that just had my whole body awake. I guess that's really the only way to describe it, "awake." You just feel like your whole body is on edge, not just your erogenous zones. Better yet, your whole body is one big huge erogenous zone. And then after a few minutes I started coming (sorry, there is no other word for it lol) and it just sort of lasted forever it felt like. It was like... It was so big that it needed to happen in parts.
[I wanted to share this with you, but how besides actually writing it out? Lol]. After a while of this he gets on top again and finally finishes himself. Not all of our experiences were like that, but I feel like I needed to share as much as I could. And I think I did pretty well. Yay me! Writing about sex is hard, I think, because it's such a private thing. The hardest thing for me is using the proper language for certain things. But I also know that I am safe with you and that you won't judge me for being open to trying different things. I think sex is such and important part of the human experience, and why not share it with your best friends?
Anyway, the stuff you were talking about with Robert (sex stuff) sort of reminded me of how things first started with Barry. At first it was like, everything was new (of course), so I was kind of timid and was too shy to open my eyes much less say or do anything else. But after a while I just got more comfortable. The funny thing is, with my other boyfriends, I was never so shy about my body. I guess it was because he and I were friends first, it was kind of weird to go from that to "omg he's seeing me naked." But now it just feels natural.
The kissing feels different, too. Like... When he and I first started kissing (on New Years, aww), I felt like he was just gonna swallow me whole. Kind of like Jim Carrey in Dumb and Dumber, but not that stupid. He was just all lips and tongue, lol. I guess that's the best way to describe it. But I guess now that we've been kissing for a while, they're sweeter and less aggressive (not in a bad way). I feel like a lot of things between us have softened up. It's not like it was ever bad, I'm just saying that before there were feelings involved and it was just sex, it was more intense and aggressive. Those things still come out now, but now that there's feelings, it's not like it was in the beginning.
I am really glad that you have decided to give this Robert guy another chance. Even if things don't work out, you're moving forward and not running so hard from feelings anymore. I'm so proud to be in this moment with you, so glad that I can watch you grow and be free from all the chains of your previous relationship. I am so thankful to be on this journey with you.
Alright, I would love to continue writing, but my hand is starting to hurt and I need to pick up some stuff from the library. So I'm gonna end it here for now.
Love you!
Rita
5:01pm
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