stupid boys

November 2nd, 2006
11:53pm

Alright, this notebook needs to pick up a little bit.  We've hardly spoken!  Well, in here anyways.  Man, I was so mad at Mike last night.  He also said something else that was very interesting.  I said, "I almost got married once before but the guy was an idiot so it didn't work." And he said that he thinks BOTH my choices are wrong and I should go for someone else (meaning him). ::sigh::.  He needs to realize that I do have feelings and I do take things seriously.  I was telling him to get over me and he said I took things too seriously.  I think that he thinks that if I have feelings for him, he can have feelings for me.  And besides that, I was the one who got away.  And I really think that is what bothers him the most.  Because he will never get a chance to know.  Oh well!  I am not about to dwell on the past.  God knows I do that enough already, lol. I just beat myself up sometimes because I wish I would have saved certain things, or written in notebooks earlier, or taken more pictures. But I can't do anything about it besides keep all that stuff in my heart.  Besides, when I die, I'm going to come back to find my stuff so I can keep it in my family.  Whoa this is a weird thought.  If you were dead, what is the one thing you would want to do?  Would you be a ghost?  Or an angel?  I think I'd be a bit of both.  Ooookay... venturing off that topic.... that blank page is driving me crazy!  I am so going to put something there.  Hold on.  Okay.  Not my best work, but it's something.

I am excited for Renegades tomorrow.  I've never been there so I'm sure I'll be in for something, lol.  I'm watching American Idol and I have no idea what I missed.  Apparently there is this one song Catherine McPhee sang on her kneeds and I want to see it.  But I guess I am not meant to.

Anyways, I'm passing the notebook back to you.  Let's start really writing in here!  You can add whatever you want to it, remember that.

<3,
me