February 16th, 2007

February 16th, 2007
2:57pm

Hi!  Man--it has been a crazy week and a half. And I'm glad that I actually have the time and energy to write.  Which is good because I have a LOT I want to write.
I know you have been busy with school plus you've been sick so you haven't been online in a while.  So... I am going to fill you in.
Just a note--I really hope you are in a quiet place right now with no distractions.  okay well--you know all about the stuff that happened with L.  Well, on Friday B and I had the day off together which was fine until we came home.  We had to go to the bank to deposit money and the card that has my account number was in my purse that I had left at the house.  Anyways, I knock on the door and E answers it and I say, "Thank you.  B is in the car and I didn't have the keys."  So I go in my room and he knocks on the door and gives me money for the water bill.  And then he tells me that we have to talk.  I say, "about what?" and he's like, "about all the tension in the house."  Now... I was slowly getting over it by then and was just being nice to both of them.  So I was like, "she knows what she did."  And then she proceeds to start screaming at me.  So I yelled back but I was trying to stop after a while cuz my throat was starting to hurt and E was still standing in my doorway not saying anything.  And she kept asking me what business was it of mine when they left and I kept trying to tell her E was tired and wanted to leave.  But he wasn't opening his mouth and he started attacking me too.  Until B came in.  And E was like, "whoa where did you come from?"  And B was like, "Dude I was in the car."  And E was like, "Oh, I didn't know."  Which was a LIE because I told E when he opened the door that B was in the car.  B just told L and me both to shut up.  So L finally shut up.  And then B told me later that he wanted to be fair.  but the thing is--it was late.  I was extremely tired.  L told me to go home by myself which I thought was completely out of line. But E kept saying, "well what if I wanted to stay?"  And I was like, "If you wanted to stay you should have told me and I would have just taken B home myself."
So... Monday comes around and I say hi to L and she says in this really snotty attitude, "I'm leaving at 11:30am."  So, that night at school I tell E I'm ready to talk.  So I get out of school and come home and he's not ready to talk.  So... Tuesday I write them a note saying that we need to talk this out because we have to live with each other and I apologized for being a snot (I didn't apologize for the original incident but the one the next day).  Then Wednesday was Valentine's Day.
Just to let you know... yeah there are a lot of details I'm skimming over, but I am going over the important parts.
Anyways, Valentine's Day I had to work a double and B worked a morning shift so I had to get a ride from L.  So... after my first shift is over I called B but he wasn't picking up his phone.  We made plans during the day to go out for dinner.  So... I go with L to For Eyes and I call a couple more times and he finally answers.  So we finally get together and have some dinner at Subway.  Then he brings me back to work.  he picks me up at 11 and he tells me about the electric bill.  So I go home and walk into my bathroom and I see flowers and a balloon that says "happy Valentine's day." Awww heheh.  Well, I took a shower and while I was in there the roomies came home.  I hurried up because L just got her period the night before and she bleeds a lot so I thought she'd need to use to the bathroom. But when I came in my room I found out something else.  Apparently while I was in the bathroom L saw what B got me and pointed and said, "See E?  Flowers AND a balloon."  How lame is that?  And then they had a fight.  They kept opening and closing their door and she even called her friend D to come pick her up.  See... E did get her stuff.  He took her out to dinner and a movie and got her Nickelback tickets (which was actually not her idea, but her friend's).  She was upset because apparently he treated the actual day like any other day, and not like a romantic holiday.  Which, I can kind of see her point on that one but it shouldn't be a big deal.  I mean you shouldn't need a holiday to feel special and loved.
All in all, I'm fed up.  I cannot WAIT until they break up.  Before all this happened I wanted them to be happy, but now I realize that she is just not a happy person.

Anyways--enough of that.  I wanted to write about something else.  I read in your journal that you don't really open up to a lot of new people like you used to, because of what happened in Ohio.  And you know... that is completely understandable.  I mean think of all the things you went through when you were up there.  And to tell you the truth, I am like that with the people I go to school with, too.  When I was up in IL and was going to that school, I was going through so much.  I was in a tumultuous relationship and ended that, and then my dad had his stroke.  That whole experience pretty much changed me.  I just think about my friends who were in my life before, and who came to the hospital, who stayed up with me and prayed with me and for me--and I consider those people my friends.  The ones I go to for everything.  And yes, you are one of those people.  I mean, I made a lot of friends down here, with B's influence and my own, and I've learned some really valuable lessons.  Like, a lot of people are friends with me because I'm with B. And there are some people I've met through him, but am friends with on my own.  I know who is who and I don't worry about it.
The most important thing you will ever learn in your life is just this--there are people who will have your back and people who will try and fuck you.  But both people are essential to have in your life because you learn how to be cautious around certain people.  And that's okay. Life is too short to be afraid and angry, and definitely too short to be worried about who has your back. You know who has your back and who doesn't.  L doesn't have anyone's back but her own.  She is way too fargone to have anyone's back.  But hopefully, she too will grow out of it.

Phew--I am pooped.  Just a couple more hours and my honey gets home and we get to have a date.  :)!

Anyways--happy one year anniversary of getting engaged.  I'm past my 10 page mark. Yay!  hehe.

Love you,
R Bo B

4:10pm